• Home
  • New? Start Here
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Real Mom Life

  • Purpose and Passion
    • Planners
    • Purpose and passion
    • Reinvention
    • Retirement
    • Starting a business
    • Volunteering
    • Working
    • Trying new things
    • Ageism
    • Giving back
    • Confidence
    • Encore careers
    • Encouragement
    • Gratitude
    • Happiness
    • Inspiration
    • Lifelong Learning
  • Adventure
    • Travel
    • Technology
    • Trying new things
    • Books and movies
    • Embracing change
    • Fun
    • Holidays
    • Pets
  • Relationships
    • Marriage
    • Friendships
    • Parenting
    • Painful parenting
    • Mothering
    • Grandparenting
    • Aging parents
    • Empty nest
    • Cancer caregiving
    • Child adoption
    • Homeschooling
    • Special needs kids
    • Life skills for kids
    • Activities for kids
  • Health and Beauty
    • Alternative health practices
    • Fashion
    • Hair care
    • Health insurance
    • Healthy aging
    • Healthy brain
    • Makeup
    • Medical issues
    • Mental health
    • Sexuality
    • Skin care
    • Sleep
    • Stress
    • Nutrition
    • Physical fitness
    • Self-care
  • Creativity and Spirituality
    • Faith
    • Crafts
    • Hobbies
    • Art journaling
    • Blogging
    • Journaling
    • Jewelry making
    • Writing
  • Home and Finances
    • Cleaning
    • Cooking and food
    • Declutter
    • Decor
    • DIY Home
    • Downsize
    • Gardening
    • Holidays
    • Organizing
    • Saving money
    • Simplify
  • Coffee Love
  • Rants, Raves and Reviews
  • Bucket List
  • Store

Things I Could Care Less About

September 16, 2018 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

Getting older has been a freeing time for me. I am freer to be myself and I am freed from some things that used to control me.

freedom of midlife

Because some things are worthy of your attention and concern. Others are not. Spending too much mental energy on the wrong things can move you further away from happiness and contentment. Making these things a priority isn’t just a waste of time. It creates unnecessary challenges in life.

Do you spend your time caring about the things that can make a positive difference? Are you sure? Let’s find out!

Most people care too much about these things:

1. The opinions of others. Do you choose clothes you like or clothes that you think others like? When you chose your last car, did you consider how others would judge you if you drive around in that car? Worrying about the opinions of others can make you miserable and cause you to do and say things that don’t match your values.

When I reflect on when I was younger, I see there were many instances where I tried to hard to please others. I spent too much time trying to fit into the definition of who others thought I should be. No more. And that is liberating!

2. Possessions. There’s nothing wrong with possessions, but it can be a problem when they become an obsession. You’ll never be happy just because you got a nicer car or a bigger house. Have all the possessions you like but avoid making them a priority in your life.
In addition, at this stage in life, many of us are focusing on downsizing, not acquisition. For every item you think about buying, consider whether that item will still be wanted or useful in a couple of years. Probably not.

3. Wealth. Have all the money you like too but avoid making it the most important thing in your life. Pursuing wealth at any cost is a recipe for misery and disaster. Having more money than you need doesn’t really do a whole lot for you.
With young adult children, we have many discussions about money and time. It seems life is a constant balance between the two. If you want a lot of wealth, you will sacrifice free time. If you want a lot of free time, you will less likely have wealth. You have to find the balance that you can live with.

4. The past. It’s done. It’s over. Sure, maybe you messed up. You did and said things you wish you hadn’t. You wasted golden opportunities. It’s just horrible. Join the club. The past is riddled with pain and disappointment. Examine it and learn from it. Make amends where you can. Then push on. There’s a whole life waiting for you.

5. Failure. Caring too much about failure will keep you stuck in a job or relationship that you don’t like. It will prevent you from doing the things you really want to do. It’s a trick that your ego is playing on you. Use the logical part of your brain and overrule this mentality. If you fear failure, you avoid success and happiness.

6. Society’s values. It might be true that a 3-bedroom ranch, a pleasant spouse, two kids, and 9-to-5 is the right path for some, and maybe even most. It doesn’t mean that it’s the right path for you.

● If you want to impress those around you, you might be tempted to follow this basic recipe for life. You might even choose it because you don’t have the courage to choose something else.

● Choose your own path. Otherwise you’ll be stuck with what society wants for you. Be more than just a cog in the machine.

7. Shortcomings. Why worry about them? Fix the ones that can be fixed and forget about the ones you can’t. What other choice do you have? You’re already good enough to do just about anything you want to do. Just get busy doing it instead of looking for an excuse.

Is your attention focused on the right things? Are you too worried about impressing others or acquiring a mansion? Do you care about failure?

There’s only so much time available each day and over a lifetime. By releasing your concern for these things, you’re giving yourself freedom and the room to be happy.

As the days ahead loom fewer than the days behind, it’s a good idea to settle how you will savor them. Do it on your own terms, not someone else’s.

Filed Under: Adventure, Confidence, Embracing change, Happiness, Trying new things Tagged With: freedom of midlife, midlife happiness, midlife women

Previous Post: « 3 Easy Steps to be Badass in Midlife
Next Post: My Prayer Bowl – one year later »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Janet Mary Cobb

    September 18, 2018 at 9:33 pm

    Amen! I totally agree with everything you said – so clearly and concisely!

  2. Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au

    September 19, 2018 at 5:04 am

    It’s amazing the amount of time and head space I’ve given to a lot of these and now it’s finally dawned on me what a waste of time it’s been in the most part. Trying to fit in with the expectations of other people or society in general, worrying about past mistakes, brooding over perceived hurts, being anxious about money or the future – all such a waste and I’m not doing it any more if I can possibly help it! It’s a great feeling to just get on with enjoying life.
    #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx

  3. Amy

    September 19, 2018 at 8:38 am

    This is so spot on! I couldn’t agree more. I just wish we could all learn these lessons earlier in life.

  4. Michele

    September 19, 2018 at 11:30 am

    I know at one time or another I worried about all of the above things. it is interesting how age gives us perspective. I have let go of most of these worries most of the time. It is amazing what happens when you stop worrying about what other people think and what you have done or could do and just allow yourself to be yourself!

  5. Agnes

    September 19, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    I think I was guilty of just about everything on your list… when I was younger. It’s so freeing now to keep life in perspective and know the important things aren’t things! Good reminder of the life I don’t want to go back to! #mlstl

  6. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    September 19, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    I love this Victoria because I’ve been feeling this way for some time. When I was younger, it was so important to me to fit in and be liked by others. The pressure was on to marry, have children and buy a home. In reality possessions aren’t that important and we are all individuals who should be able to follow the beat of their own drum. Thank you for putting into words what many of us are thinking in Midlife & Beyond and great advice for the younger generation. #MLSTL. I’m pinning and sharing. xx

  7. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    September 19, 2018 at 4:13 pm

    P.S. Sorry I called you Victoria – I’m not sure where my head is today 🙂

    • Christine Field

      September 19, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      It’s a lovely name!

  8. Kalpana

    September 21, 2018 at 2:06 am

    You’ve put it all down so well – these are exactly the reminders we need. It’s so true that I’m downsizing and loving it also how freeing midlife is.

  9. Molly

    September 22, 2018 at 4:25 pm

    The constant quandary in our house is time vs money. We never seem to think we have enough of either. But I’m not sure that is a true statement. That is scarcity mentality which prevents me from living life to its fullest. I still struggle, but I’m learning to be grateful for what I have and develop an abundant mentality 🙂

  10. Suzanne

    September 25, 2018 at 8:02 am

    I completely agree with your assessment of things to care less about. I shed most of that baggage when we entered retirement and watched our daughter begin to build a career for herself. I admit spending too much time worrying about the opinions of others (sometimes still do) and trying to live up to expectations (motherhood is brutal), but I will never regret the years of hard work, and accumulation. That time was less about “stuff” and “lifestyle” and more about creating opportunities for all of us. Whatever brought me here, it feels great to “care less” and live life on my own terms.

    • Christine Field

      September 26, 2018 at 6:10 am

      It’s time to fill up life with NEW things to care about and invest with or energy and passion!

Primary Sidebar

FacebookInstagrammailPinterestYouTubeTwitter

Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
Read More…

Visit my Amazon Influencer Storefront

www.amazon.com/shop/christine.field.7505

Search the Blog

Want to Search For Something?

Disclosure and Privacy Policy

Real Mom Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

 

Cookie policy

This website will store some information about your preferences on your own computer inside a tiny file called a cookie.  A cookie is a small piece of data that a website asks your browser to store on your computer or mobile device. The cookie allows the website to remember your actions or preferences over time.

You can delete all cookies that are already on your computer, and you can set most browsers to prevent them from being placed. However, if you do this, you may have to manually adjust some preferences every time you visit a site, and some services and functionalities may not work.

Most browsers support cookies, but you can set your browser to decline them and can delete them whenever you like. You can find instructions here for how you can do that on various browsers.

This website uses cookies to

1) Identify you as a returning user and to count your visits in traffic statistics analysis

2) Remember your custom display preferences (such as whether you prefer comments to display all-collapsed or not)

3) Suggest any recent searches you’ve made on our site

4) Provide other usability features, including tracking whether you’ve already given your consent to cookies

Enabling cookies is not strictly necessary for the website to work but it will provide you with a better browsing experience.

The cookie-related information is not used to identify you personally and is not used for any purpose other than those described here.

There may also be other types of cookies created after you’ve visited this website. This site uses Google Analytics, a popular web analytics service that uses cookies to help to analyze how users use the site. The information generated by the cookie about your use of this website (including your IP address) will be transmitted to and stored by Google on servers in the United States. Google will use this information for the purpose of evaluating your use of another website, compiling reports on website activity, and providing other services relating to website activity and internet usage. Google may also transfer this information to third parties where required to do so by law, or where such third parties process the information on Google’s behalf. Google undertakes not to associate your IP address with any other data held by Google.

Third Party Advertising

This site has third-party advertising companies serving ads to you when you visit. These companies may store information about your visits here and to other websites in order to provide you with relevant advertisements about goods and services. For example, if they know what ads you are shown while visiting this site, they can be careful not to show you the same ones repeatedly.

These companies may employ cookies and other identifiers to gather information which measures advertising effectiveness. The information is generally not personally identifiable unless, for example, you provide personally identifiable information to them through an ad or an email message.

They do not associate your interaction with unaffiliated sites with your identity in providing you with interest-based ads.

This site does not provide any personal information to advertisers or to third party sites. Advertisers and other third-parties (including the ad networks, ad-serving companies, and other service providers they may use) may assume that users who interact with or click on a personalized ad or content are part of the group that the ad or content is directed towards (for example, readers in the Pacific Northwest who read certain types of articles). Also, some third-party cookies may provide them with information about you (such as the sites where you have been shown ads or demographic information) from offline and online sources that they may use to provide you more relevant and useful advertising.

To learn more about what options you have about limiting the gathering of information by third-party ad networks, you can consult the website of the Network Advertising Initiative.

You can opt out of participating in interest-based advertising networks, but opting out does not mean you will no longer receive online advertising. It does mean that the companies from which you opted out will no longer customize ads based on your interests and web usage patterns using cookie-based technology.

Sharing Information

This site does not sell, rent, or disclose to outside parties the information collected here, except as follows:

(a) Affiliated Service Providers: This site has agreements with various affiliated service providers to facilitate the functioning of the site. For example, the site may share your credit card information with the credit card service provider to process your purchase. All administrative service providers that this site uses are required to have the same level of privacy protection as this site does, and therefore your information will be handled with the same level of care. Additionally, for example, this site may use analytic or marketing services such as Google Analytics, Google Adsense, Taboola, or RevContent, to which collection you hereby unconditionally consent.

(b) Where required by law: This site may share the collected information where required by law, specifically in response to a demand from government authorities where such demand meets the legal requirements.

(c) Statistical Analysis: This site may share Non-Personal Information and aggregated information with third parties, including but not limited to for advertising or marketing purposes. No Personal Information will be shared in this manner.

(d) Transactions: In connection with, or during negotiations of, any merger, sale of company assets, financing or acquisition, or in any other situation where Personal Information may be disclosed or transferred as a business asset.

How To Opt Out Of Interest-Based Advertising


Opting Out of Interest-Based Advertising Services: This website is a member of the Network Advertising Initiative(NAI) and adheres to the NAI Codes of Conduct as described on the NAI website. This website also adheres to the Digital Advertising Alliance (DAA) Self-Regulatory Principles. For a description of the DAA Program, please visit the DAA website.

Opting Out of Interest-Based Advertising by Third Parties: To find out more about interest-based advertising on the internet and how to opt out of information collection for this purpose by companies that participate in the Network Advertising Initiative or the Digital Advertising Alliance, visit NAI’s opt-out page or DAA’s Consumer Choice Page.

 

Footer

About Christine

FacebookInstagrammailPinterestYouTubeTwitter

At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

Real Mom Life

Real Mom Life

10339 S. Kostner Ave.

                              Oak Lawn, IL 60453

 

Copyright © 2023 Real Mom Life on the Foodie Pro Theme