I have never been exactly shy in my life, but I never would have considered myself to be a badass.
I have done scary things that I wanted to do, but sometimes with a quaking heart.
In my last decade, that heart has stopped quaking and I’ve become, well, a badass.
As a relatively recent fan of Brene Brown, her words speak to my heart. I feel she knows what it’s like to face challenges and survive. Here is what she has to say:
“When I see people stand fully in their truth, or when I see someone fall down, get back up, and say, “Damn. That really hurt, but this is important to me and I’m going in again”—my gut reaction is, “What a badass.”
― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Another woman I know in real life (IRL) posted on her Facebook recently that she was completely taken aback when someone referred to her as badass. I affirmed the characterization.
What makes a midlife woman a badass? You, too, can be one. Here are three easy steps.
3 Steps to Badass
1. Go through hell, or a lot of small hells.
By midlife or beyond, we have seen and done a few things.
Many have survived children and their blessings and challenges. Some have lost the precious ones we have loved through death or estrangement.
We have been in relationship – the good, the bad, the ugly. We have been married, divorced, single or other. Maybe those relationship blessed us, but maybe they crushed us.
We have had careers, been unemployed, or have tried to find our place in the world. We have struggled with how to define and “sell” ourselves after decades of being a nurturer and encourager and have known the frustration and disappointment of never seeing a help-wanted advertisement for Nurturers.
We have lived in houses and apartments, slept on friend’s couches or crashed in relative’s basements. If we are fortunate, we have landed in a place of comfort and safety.
We have had money and have been broke.
Many of us have had physical challenges. Some were sudden, some are lingering and lifelong.
None of us have been spared emotional pain. We have seen birth and death, beginnings and endings, joy and despair.
The second step to being a badass is to realize we have survived.
Remember the singer Gloria Gaynor? Her passionate rendition of “I will survive” could be the theme song of this time of life:
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive
A badass not only survives, but survives with her enthusiasm for life intact.
If we are observant, we have seen the bitterness of some who have gone before us and we chose to reject that reaction. Rather, we take pride in our resilience, but realize that our true strength lies in nurturing the only thing we really control – our attitude.
3. Reflect on the wonder of it all.
In this third step to being a badass, we take time to reflect.
We take a breath.
We take a beat.
We blow out the bad air and bring in the fresh air.
And in this moment of quiet reflection, we realize.
We ARE badass!
And badasses have much left to give to the world and in our private lives.
Are you facing a decision, a challenge, a change? Go for it with strength and confidence, because you ARE badass!