I have never been exactly shy in my life, but I never would have considered myself to be a badass.
I have done scary things that I wanted to do, but sometimes with a quaking heart.
In my last decade, that heart has stopped quaking and I’ve become, well, a badass.
As a relatively recent fan of Brene Brown, her words speak to my heart. I feel she knows what it’s like to face challenges and survive. Here is what she has to say:
“When I see people stand fully in their truth, or when I see someone fall down, get back up, and say, “Damn. That really hurt, but this is important to me and I’m going in again”—my gut reaction is, “What a badass.”
― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Another woman I know in real life (IRL) posted on her Facebook recently that she was completely taken aback when someone referred to her as badass. I affirmed the characterization.
What makes a midlife woman a badass? You, too, can be one. Here are three easy steps.
3 Steps to Badass
1. Go through hell, or a lot of small hells.
By midlife or beyond, we have seen and done a few things.
Many have survived children and their blessings and challenges. Some have lost the precious ones we have loved through death or estrangement.
We have been in relationship – the good, the bad, the ugly. We have been married, divorced, single or other. Maybe those relationship blessed us, but maybe they crushed us.
We have had careers, been unemployed, or have tried to find our place in the world. We have struggled with how to define and “sell” ourselves after decades of being a nurturer and encourager and have known the frustration and disappointment of never seeing a help-wanted advertisement for Nurturers.
We have lived in houses and apartments, slept on friend’s couches or crashed in relative’s basements. If we are fortunate, we have landed in a place of comfort and safety.
We have had money and have been broke.
Many of us have had physical challenges. Some were sudden, some are lingering and lifelong.
None of us have been spared emotional pain. We have seen birth and death, beginnings and endings, joy and despair.
2. Survive.
The second step to being a badass is to realize we have survived.
Remember the singer Gloria Gaynor? Her passionate rendition of “I will survive” could be the theme song of this time of life:
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive
A badass not only survives, but survives with her enthusiasm for life intact.
If we are observant, we have seen the bitterness of some who have gone before us and we chose to reject that reaction. Rather, we take pride in our resilience, but realize that our true strength lies in nurturing the only thing we really control – our attitude.
3. Reflect on the wonder of it all.
In this third step to being a badass, we take time to reflect.
We take a breath.
We take a beat.
We blow out the bad air and bring in the fresh air.
And in this moment of quiet reflection, we realize.
We ARE badass!
And badasses have much left to give to the world and in our private lives.
Are you facing a decision, a challenge, a change? Go for it with strength and confidence, because you ARE badass!
You, Me and Jen Sincero!! Great article, I could feel your energy coming through your words!!
BadAss is such a great term – we should all step into our BadAssery!
Hi Christine – I never think of myself as badass, but I am a survivor and a thriver and I’ve made a lot of conscious choices that have led to the life I’m enjoying now. I don’t take crap from anyone these days and I speak my truth – kindly but firmly – I own who I am and I’m proud of that woman! We’re rocking this Midlife gig!! MLSTL and shared on my SM
Maybe you’re a secret badass.
Hi Christine, I think I qualify as a Badass and I never knew it! Many of us qualify I believe so thanks for sharing the steps to being a Badass and being part of our #MLSTL community. Enjoy the rest of your week. xx
Badass – say it proud!
Interesting defintion! Based on it, I don’t think I qualify. Sigh. visiting from #MLSTL
Are you sure? Have you survived parenting? You MIGHT be a badass!
I must say, having read this post, I definitely think of you as a badass, Pat. What part of this process are you not seeing yourself in? Just curious. Share if you like. Tell me to mind my business, if you don’t. 🙂
I love this definition of badass. At first thought, I wouldn’t have classified myself as one, but after reading your post I am seeing this in a new life. We have been through a lot at our age, and we deserve to be proud of what we have done and wherever we have come from and wherever we are going. We are more fearless than we think!
Oh my, I love this and can now officially call myself a BADASS!!!
#MLSTL (shared on SM)
You GO, girl!
Christine, I have never thought of myself as a badass, more just a survivor. This message really speaks to me today as I go through the struggles of my husbands’ disease process.
I have walked through cancer with my spouse as well. You need to take really good care of YOU! I hope you are doing lots of good self-care!
I’m reading a Brene Brown book right now, Christine. I love her too! When I read Steps 1 & 2 of your post, I could so relate. I’ve been in just about every situation you described. I hadn’t thought about Step 3 in terms of it being part of what makes one a badass, but I definitely have reflected on the wonder of life and on my ability to survive and grow in situations I thought would destroy me–not in a boastful way, but in a deeply grateful way. Thank you for this post I found on #MLSTL.
You said that so perfectly! “Not in a boastful way.” I am completely grateful for all the challenges I have faced and for having grown through them. I think it is part of the wonder of the human experience!