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3 Easy Steps to be Badass in Midlife

September 10, 2018 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

I have never been exactly shy in my life, but I never would have considered myself to be a badass.

I have done scary things that I wanted to do, but sometimes with a quaking heart.

In my last decade, that heart has stopped quaking and I’ve become, well, a badass.

badass midlife

As a relatively recent fan of Brene Brown, her words speak to my heart. I feel she knows what it’s like to face challenges and survive. Here is what she has to say:

“When I see people stand fully in their truth, or when I see someone fall down, get back up, and say, “Damn. That really hurt, but this is important to me and I’m going in again”—my gut reaction is, “What a badass.”
― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Another woman I know in real life (IRL) posted on her Facebook recently that she was completely taken aback when someone referred to her as badass. I affirmed the characterization.

What makes a midlife woman a badass? You, too, can be one. Here are three easy steps.

3 Steps to Badass

1. Go through hell, or a lot of small hells.

By midlife or beyond, we have seen and done a few things.

Many have survived children and their blessings and challenges. Some have lost the precious ones we have loved through death or estrangement.

We have been in relationship – the good, the bad, the ugly. We have been married, divorced, single or other. Maybe those relationship blessed us, but maybe they crushed us.

We have had careers, been unemployed, or have tried to find our place in the world. We have struggled with how to define and “sell” ourselves after decades of being a nurturer and encourager and have known the frustration and disappointment of never seeing a help-wanted advertisement for Nurturers.

We have lived in houses and apartments, slept on friend’s couches or crashed in relative’s basements. If we are fortunate, we have landed in a place of comfort and safety.

We have had money and have been broke.

Many of us have had physical challenges. Some were sudden, some are lingering and lifelong.

None of us have been spared emotional pain. We have seen birth and death, beginnings and endings, joy and despair.

2. Survive.

 

The second step to being a badass is to realize we have survived.

Remember the singer Gloria Gaynor? Her passionate rendition of “I will survive” could be the theme song of this time of life:

Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive

A badass not only survives, but survives with her enthusiasm for life intact.

If we are observant, we have seen the bitterness of some who have gone before us and we chose to reject that reaction. Rather, we take pride in our resilience, but realize that our true strength lies in nurturing the only thing we really control – our attitude.

 

3. Reflect on the wonder of it all.

 

In this third step to being a badass, we take time to reflect.

We take a breath.

We take a beat.

We blow out the bad air and bring in the fresh air.

And in this moment of quiet reflection, we realize.

We ARE badass!

And badasses have much left to give to the world and in our private lives.

 

Are you facing a decision, a challenge, a change? Go for it with strength and confidence, because you ARE badass!

 

 

Filed Under: Confidence, Embracing change, Encouragement, Purpose and Passion, Trying new things Tagged With: badass, midlife badass, midlife women

Previous Post: « What To Do When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind
Next Post: Things I Could Care Less About »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Agnes

    September 11, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    You, Me and Jen Sincero!! Great article, I could feel your energy coming through your words!!
    BadAss is such a great term – we should all step into our BadAssery!

  2. Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au

    September 12, 2018 at 1:34 am

    Hi Christine – I never think of myself as badass, but I am a survivor and a thriver and I’ve made a lot of conscious choices that have led to the life I’m enjoying now. I don’t take crap from anyone these days and I speak my truth – kindly but firmly – I own who I am and I’m proud of that woman! We’re rocking this Midlife gig!! MLSTL and shared on my SM

    • Christine Field

      September 12, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      Maybe you’re a secret badass.

  3. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    September 12, 2018 at 1:37 am

    Hi Christine, I think I qualify as a Badass and I never knew it! Many of us qualify I believe so thanks for sharing the steps to being a Badass and being part of our #MLSTL community. Enjoy the rest of your week. xx

    • Christine Field

      September 12, 2018 at 5:43 pm

      Badass – say it proud!

  4. Pat

    September 12, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    Interesting defintion! Based on it, I don’t think I qualify. Sigh. visiting from #MLSTL

    • Christine Field

      September 12, 2018 at 5:43 pm

      Are you sure? Have you survived parenting? You MIGHT be a badass!

    • Christie Hawkes

      September 14, 2018 at 8:31 am

      I must say, having read this post, I definitely think of you as a badass, Pat. What part of this process are you not seeing yourself in? Just curious. Share if you like. Tell me to mind my business, if you don’t. 🙂

  5. Michele

    September 12, 2018 at 2:11 pm

    I love this definition of badass. At first thought, I wouldn’t have classified myself as one, but after reading your post I am seeing this in a new life. We have been through a lot at our age, and we deserve to be proud of what we have done and wherever we have come from and wherever we are going. We are more fearless than we think!

  6. Donna McNicol

    September 12, 2018 at 2:38 pm

    Oh my, I love this and can now officially call myself a BADASS!!!

    #MLSTL (shared on SM)

    • Christine Field

      September 12, 2018 at 5:42 pm

      You GO, girl!

  7. Victoria

    September 13, 2018 at 9:14 am

    Christine, I have never thought of myself as a badass, more just a survivor. This message really speaks to me today as I go through the struggles of my husbands’ disease process.

    • Christine Field

      September 13, 2018 at 12:54 pm

      I have walked through cancer with my spouse as well. You need to take really good care of YOU! I hope you are doing lots of good self-care!

  8. Christie Hawkes

    September 14, 2018 at 8:36 am

    I’m reading a Brene Brown book right now, Christine. I love her too! When I read Steps 1 & 2 of your post, I could so relate. I’ve been in just about every situation you described. I hadn’t thought about Step 3 in terms of it being part of what makes one a badass, but I definitely have reflected on the wonder of life and on my ability to survive and grow in situations I thought would destroy me–not in a boastful way, but in a deeply grateful way. Thank you for this post I found on #MLSTL.

    • Christine Field

      September 16, 2018 at 8:39 am

      You said that so perfectly! “Not in a boastful way.” I am completely grateful for all the challenges I have faced and for having grown through them. I think it is part of the wonder of the human experience!

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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