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Opening a Vein: Talking about family trouble

January 14, 2016 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

 

I recently read and copied an article written by a well-known psychologist about how painful it is when our kids go astray.  There were 37 comments after the article from parents expressing their grief and pain.  I resonated with all their comments – and wept with some.

Just open the vein and out flows the pain.  I read about kids/young adults who:

 

  • ran away
  • are homeless
  • have children out of wedlock
  • are addicted to drugs
  • have walked away from their family
  • have walked away from their kids
  • have walked away from the church
  • engage in self-harming behaviors

 

talking about family trouble

The moms are grieving their children.  While the child may still be alive, the mom’s picture of who she thought the child would be has died.

We all want kids who thrive.  Sometimes we get kids who dive.

We can get lost in our pain and wallow through life in regret and grief.

Or we can purpose to love our kids how they are, where they are.

It may be difficult if we have little or no contact with the child.

But we can choose to make the infrequent contact we have filled with love and grace and acceptance.

We can speak words of love over the lost sheep who has wandered from our flock.

We can minister tenderness to that hurting child.

It is only that kind of Jesus-love that heals.  That woos a sheep back to the fold.

Hard to do when the angry words and accusations push to be heard, when our right-ness demands its due.

Only Jesus can heal our vein of pain.  Only Jesus can help us to love them the way we cannot in our own flesh.

Only Jesus can redeem the mess of their lives.

And the mess they left behind.

 

Will you let Him minister his balm of peace and healing?

 

 

Here is a very helpful article addressing The Family Trauma of Mental Illness.

Anywhere but home, the motto of the wayward child

My child is estranged

Filed Under: Painful parenting, Relationships Tagged With: family trouble, painful parenting, parenting challenges, parenting difficult children

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Beth

    January 15, 2016 at 6:53 pm

    Family secrets are never healthy, there is a HUGE difference between privacy and secrets. Great post!

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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