I recently read and copied an article written by a well-known psychologist about how painful it is when our kids go astray. There were 37 comments after the article from parents expressing their grief and pain. I resonated with all their comments – and wept with some.
Just open the vein and out flows the pain. I read about kids/young adults who:
- ran away
- are homeless
- have children out of wedlock
- are addicted to drugs
- have walked away from their family
- have walked away from their kids
- have walked away from the church
- engage in self-harming behaviors
The moms are grieving their children. While the child may still be alive, the mom’s picture of who she thought the child would be has died.
We all want kids who thrive. Sometimes we get kids who dive.
We can get lost in our pain and wallow through life in regret and grief.
Or we can purpose to love our kids how they are, where they are.
It may be difficult if we have little or no contact with the child.
But we can choose to make the infrequent contact we have filled with love and grace and acceptance.
We can speak words of love over the lost sheep who has wandered from our flock.
We can minister tenderness to that hurting child.
It is only that kind of Jesus-love that heals. That woos a sheep back to the fold.
Hard to do when the angry words and accusations push to be heard, when our right-ness demands its due.
Only Jesus can heal our vein of pain. Only Jesus can help us to love them the way we cannot in our own flesh.
Only Jesus can redeem the mess of their lives.
And the mess they left behind.
Will you let Him minister his balm of peace and healing?
Here is a very helpful article addressing The Family Trauma of Mental Illness.