I don’t care much for the physical aspects of getting older, but I am sure loving the perspective it provides.
Right off the bat, I’m a fretter. I was born fretting. It has been my companion through most of adulthood.
The fret is rooted in the concept that my life must be better than my past. It must be the new and improved life.
I was raised poor and I aspired to be more comfortable.
I was raised with preoccupied parents and I vowed to be tuned in and connected.
I was raised with constant pressure to achieve and surpass what my parents had accomplished and I stubbornly achieved in life, whether or not is was actually something fitting or good for me.
The problem with living this way is that you are always comparing.
Is today better than yesterday?
Have I given more than I ever got?
Have I achieved more than anyone expected me to?
I compare my children’s childhood to my own.
I compare my young adults adolescence with my own turbulent time.
I compare my grown children’s lives to my own at that time.
Not to mention the comparison I did outside my own experience. Was I homeschooling my kids the right way? Did I do everything right with my adoptions? Have I done enough equipping to adequately launch them into adulthood?
I created so much internal dialog and conflict – all in my own head.
My fret-filled mothering has matured as I have measured the destruction it has caused.
~ It has kept me from the truth, which is God’s standard. Romans 8:29 says, ”For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son.“ We are called to be conformed to Christ’s image. That will manifest itself in unique ways as we pursue the divine calling of motherhood.
~ It has kept me from celebrating our uniqueness. I am a one-of-a-kind woman who has made unique choices. So are you! Psalm 139:14 tells us, ”I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.“ The mosaic of each of our lives will be unique. Instead of celebrating our uniqueness, we often lament our imagined shortcomings.
Galatians 6:4 cautions, ”Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.“ (NIV) I always fretted about my children and peer dependence. It turns out I was the one with the comparison problem. Perhaps satisfaction and reward for our life’s work can lie in changes in the heart and spirit, which are trickier to measure and evaluate than finances, achievement and accomplishment.
That’s hard to fathom when the kids are overwhelming you. When they are sick and snotty and sinning and you’re up to your elbows in diapers and puke and bubble gum flavored medicine.
Hard to accept when unemployment or adult illness have visited your home and you’re feeling desperate and worried about the future.
Impossible to imagine when your kids have made some negative choices and your heart aches for them.
Mama, where did you get the idea that you’re entitled to a pain free, stress free life?
Banish that thought from your mind and embrace whatever God brings your way. In the end, He works it all for His glory.
In the today, we need to milk all the joy and contentment that we can out of each day.
Because He is near, because we can call on Him by simply whispering His name.
Psalm 118: 24 — This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Mama, it’s all going to be OK.
