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On the Brink

December 1, 2018 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

I don’t know how I have lived this long without reading something written by Parker J. Palmer. He has written several books and is the founder of something called the Center for Courage and Renewal.

Parker J. Palmer

 

One title kept popping up on other blogs and I felt compelled to get a copy. The title is On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old.  

 

Diminshment?

 

In this, his most recent book, Palmer notes that he will be nearly 80 when it is published, and confesses that he likes being old. He then states the following:

 

Age brings diminishments, but more than a few come with benefits. I’ve lost the capacity for multitasking, but I’ve rediscovered the joy of doing one thing at a time. My thinking has slowed a bit, but experience has made it deeper and richer. I’m done with big and complex projects, but more aware of the loveliness of simple things: a talk with a friend, a walk in the woods, sunsets and sunrises, a night of good sleep.

 

Gratitude

 

Throughout this book is an overriding theme of feeling grateful for the gift of life.

 

As I contemplate my own aging, I resonate so much with this beautiful writing! I still have a very busy, full life, but I am learning to live it one moment at a time – taking the time to find joy and pleasure in the moments. When I was younger, I was incapable of this attitude. Life seemed to be pressing in so much more seriously.

 

At my age, I can hold things more lightly, squeeze the blessings and joy out of them, then gratefully move on to the next adventure life presents to me.

 

Palmer goes on to say, “We need to reframe aging as a passage of discovery and engagement, not decline and inaction.”

 

As I read this passage, I reflected on the sense of panic I felt when my husband retired a few years ago at a relatively young age. I had been busy raising 4 children and he had been busy nurturing a career. When both of those pursuits came to an end, a few months of lounging and napping gave way to a desire to reengage with the world and with life on our own terms instead of the scripts we had been following for most of our lives.

 

He went into consulting work, where he can accept or refuse jobs. I went back to practicing law in a very focused practice (criminal defense), while simultaneously nurturing my writing career.

 

“Work” feels different now. Maybe because it’s by choice. Or maybe the work has chosen us. Regardless, the perspective of age makes it so much more enjoyable.

 

Letting Go

Another major discussion in the book is the idea of letting go. Many of us of a certain age have begun to downsize. Personally, I want to travel light because I want to travel!

Palmer says, “The junk I really need to jettison in my old age is psychological junk – such as longtime convictions about what gives my life meaning that no longer serve me well.” 

I have certainly jettisoned a lot of junk in recent years! Old ideas about family life, children, aging, and marriage have been challenged. When life is changing around you, you have a choice: You can buck up against it and be miserable and bemoan what used to be, or you can be open to embracing something new.

Palmer encourages us to ask, “”What do I want to let go it, and what do I want to give myself to?”

When life strips away roles and relationships, it is a privilege to engage in what makes our lives meaningful and purposeful. Instead of continuing in activities that might no longer fulfill us, we can give ourselves to the things that really make our heart sing.

This little book is one I will return to time and time again on this journey of aging. It is well-underlined and dog-eared and well worth the read.

 

 


 

 

Filed Under: Books and movies, Embracing change Tagged With: aging, getting older, On the Brink of Everything, Parker J. Palmer

Previous Post: « How to Let Go of a Hurtful Past
Next Post: My Word for 2019: Happier »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    December 5, 2018 at 2:11 am

    HI Christine, what a wise man and I will definitely be getting a copy of his book. I love the quote about ‘reframing aging as a passage of discovery’. This is such a positive way to look at life rather than fearing getting older. I believe we live in an exciting time for Over 50s because there are so many wise people who are taking life and going for it rather than retiring and waiting to die. Thank you for sharing with us at #MLSTL and have a beautiful week. xx

  2. Pat

    December 5, 2018 at 10:17 am

    Thanks for sharing this book with us on #MLSTL. I’ve put it on my to-read list!

  3. Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au

    December 6, 2018 at 12:22 am

    It sounds like a really good read Christine, I think anyone who promotes aging in a positive way is worth engaging with. I get so tired of this youth culture that makes anyone over 40 feel like they’ve got nothing to offer. We are only just beginning to realize our worth and what life has to offer – making all the little moments count is something we “older folk” have down to a fine art.
    MLSTL – I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

  4. Bethany @ Happily

    December 9, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    Sounds like a good read! I think that as we get older, we develop less and less tolerance for BS. 😉 I know that since age 35, I have pared more away and “played the game” a lot less. At 40, I experience much less drama than I ever have. I look forward to seeing what lies ahead!

    #mlstl

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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