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Lullabies and Groaning

September 7, 2014 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

The hospital is a crazy place of beginnings and endings. This one has a tradition of playing Lullaby over the public announcement system every time a new baby is born. The tune is in sharp contrast to the groans and grimaces of my father-in-law. Nearly a year to the day that my mother-in-law passed away, we are at the same hospital to sit with Dad. cross

We packed our bags with uncertainty. How long would we be away? How much money should we leave for the kids? Will they remember to carry their keys?

All these concerns were erased by compassionate kids who understood the importance of this trip. “Everything will be fine, Mom. Go do what you need to do.”

As I watch him sleeping I am reflecting on what a privilege it has been to know and love this precious man. He is very weak and virtually non-communicative.

He took a fall, which seems to be the beginning of the end for many of the elderly. It badly bruised him. The leg is bad and painful but debriding and grafting the wound would be much more painful. And so we sit with him and wait. He opens his eyes once in a while and makes a sound. We think he is trying to sing one of his favorite hymns.

I know he is thinking of his precious wife, Rose. It won’t be long until they are united again.

I sent him a card about a month ago thanking him. I have so much to thank him for. I told him I was grateful that he and my mom-in-law welcomed me so warmly nearly thirty years ago when I first met them. I hadn’t been a believer very long and was very nervous to meet these faithful people. They loved me immediately and always treated me like a beloved daughter. In fact, Rose used to call me her daughter-in-love.

I told him I was grateful for the example they had set for a Godly marriage and a faithful life. I hadn’t seen much of either before meeting them. Their commitment to one another and their unwavering faith over the years, even when faced with unthinkable tragedy, opened my mind and my heart to these possibilities for my own life.

Finally, I told him I was grateful for raising such a great son – my husband, Mark. A good husband and father produced another good husband and father and I have my father-in-law to thank for that.

Seeing him demonstrate such strength and steadiness through the years is strong in my memory as I watch him labor for each breath.

I’ve watched a few people die in my life and it isn’t always peaceful. Some go out with deep fear and uncertainty. Dad is straining somewhere between two realities, but there is absolutely no fear.

Perfect love cast out all fear long ago in the life of this precious man. I am so blessed to have known him and to have been loved by him.

Some stresses and strains wait for me to deal with when I get back home. I sent my kids a text encouraging them to all love and be at peace with each other. I told them that this life is far too short to waste. The time from the first Lullaby to the final groaning is shorter than we think.

It goes by in a flash.


Filed Under: Aging parents, Creativity and Spirituality, Faith, Relationships Tagged With: end-of-life, eternity, faith, in-laws

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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