• Home
  • New? Start Here
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Real Mom Life

  • Purpose and Passion
    • Planners
    • Purpose and passion
    • Reinvention
    • Retirement
    • Starting a business
    • Volunteering
    • Working
    • Trying new things
    • Ageism
    • Giving back
    • Confidence
    • Encore careers
    • Encouragement
    • Gratitude
    • Happiness
    • Inspiration
    • Lifelong Learning
  • Adventure
    • Travel
    • Technology
    • Trying new things
    • Books and movies
    • Embracing change
    • Fun
    • Holidays
    • Pets
  • Relationships
    • Marriage
    • Friendships
    • Parenting
    • Painful parenting
    • Mothering
    • Grandparenting
    • Aging parents
    • Empty nest
    • Cancer caregiving
    • Child adoption
    • Homeschooling
    • Special needs kids
    • Life skills for kids
    • Activities for kids
  • Health and Beauty
    • Alternative health practices
    • Fashion
    • Hair care
    • Health insurance
    • Healthy aging
    • Healthy brain
    • Makeup
    • Medical issues
    • Mental health
    • Sexuality
    • Skin care
    • Sleep
    • Stress
    • Nutrition
    • Physical fitness
    • Self-care
  • Creativity and Spirituality
    • Faith
    • Crafts
    • Hobbies
    • Art journaling
    • Blogging
    • Journaling
    • Jewelry making
    • Writing
  • Home and Finances
    • Cleaning
    • Cooking and food
    • Declutter
    • Decor
    • DIY Home
    • Downsize
    • Gardening
    • Holidays
    • Organizing
    • Saving money
    • Simplify
  • Coffee Love
  • Rants, Raves and Reviews
  • Bucket List
  • Shop

When your adult child breaks your heart

July 12, 2015 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

Spread the love

She came to us as an answer to prayer. An uncomplicated, unexpected adoption arriving 2 weeks after a miscarriage.  God was going to fill my home even if he didn’t fill my womb.

Childhood was a delight.  She radiated sweetness and light.  So many fun years were filled with wonderful memory making.

Adolescence brought storm clouds.  Emotions ran off the charts.  Reactions to life experiences pegged the stress meter. I didn’t always respond well.

The there were the jobs she couldn’t keep, and the college she kept dropping in and out of. Stormy relationships with boys and even a short marriage that produced a child.

Each time she moved out, I would watch her fury as she angrily cleaned out her stuff.

Each time she moved back in I showered her with love and acceptance and tried to help her see the future she could have.

Then there were the illnesses. It seems she was in the hospital about as often as she was out.  The diagnoses were psychiatric in nature, but she never followed through with care.  We begged, negotiated, cried and yelled for her to get help. She preferred to sleep until 2 PM rather than make the effort to attend doctor appointments.

This last hospitalization was the last straw.  Her irrationality accelerated.  They put her on a psych hold.  We begged her to get help. Then they let her go, knowing full well that she would not follow through.

So today she is packing her belongings and moving out in another fury.  Angry words and accusations fly.

I am asking, “Jesus, where are you in this?”  My tears mock me in her empty room.

And now she is a gone girl again.  It seems final.  She may die or overdose, which are the likely results of her past behavior and reckless present.

I ask God, “Why?”

He whispers comfort to me. “You had things you had to learn.”

Like unconditional love.

Like letting go.

Like praying harder than you’ve ever prayed.

Like accepting the fact that you can’t always solve problems.

So I cry, desperate and despairing, and yet, even in this – He is in it.

He always has been and always will be.

He weeps for me just as He weeps for my daughter.

It doesn’t make my pain disappear, but I remember another Father who had to let His Son go.

And I wait in my pain for His purposes to be revealed.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Painful parenting, Relationships Tagged With: adopted children, adult children, mom pain, painful relationships

Previous Post: « How to Focus on Writing
Next Post: Kids Summer Activities Roundup »

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

FacebookInstagrammailPinterestYouTubeTwitter

Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
Read More…

Visit my Amazon Influencer Storefront

www.amazon.com/shop/christine.field.7505

Search the Blog

Want to Search For Something?

Disclosure

Real Mom Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Footer

About Christine

FacebookInstagrammailPinterestYouTubeTwitter

At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

Real Mom Life

Real Mom Life

107 N. Pierce Ave.

Wheaton, IL 60187

Copyright © 2021 Real Mom Life on the Foodie Pro Theme