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A Pretty Face and a Stolen Gideon Bible

March 25, 2013 By Christine Field

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Hiding, Hoping and Healing After Disfigurement 002

Long ago I was a lovely 20 year-old-girl. My long, straight hair framed a lovely face, and I moved easily in the world as a young woman.

One day I woke up and the left side of my face was completely paralyzed.  My eye drooped and would not close and I could not control the drooling that came from my decisively down-turned lips.

After the initial shock, I got the diagnosis of Bell’s Palsy and was prescribed a steroid and told to wait it out.

Wait indeed I did.  While a “normal” course usually completely resolved in a few months, after several months I was still disfigured.

 

Hiding

me  I hid. In one of my first outings into the neighborhood, a young child with her mother looked at me and screamed.  I   returned home to hide some more.

My grief was profound.  Still reeling after the deaths of my parents when I was in my late teens, my loss was not just the loss of youthful beauty.  As a flute major on a full scholarship, the joy that music brought to my life was also stripped away.  As a result of the causative virus, I experienced a crippling array of auto-immune symptoms, from which I was quite ill.

In my months of hiding, I came across an item I had stolen a few years before – a Gideon Bible. At 19 I had entered into an early, ill-advised marriage (which quickly unwound after my illness).  During that honeymoon, I swiped the Bible from a hotel in California and brought it home to sit on my bookshelf unread.

In my generation, Catholics generally didn’t read the Bible.  Long-lapsed from the faith of my father, I now looked at the Bible with a fresh desperation.

Hoping                                  gideons_bible

I immersed myself in the life-giving words of Scripture.  In my stolen King James, I read the most amazing things.  I read there was a God who loved me and who knew me from my sad mother’s womb.  He had plans for my life, and instilled in me a hope I had never known.

Over time, through deeply drinking in His love and acceptance, I also admitted my own sinfulness.  In my physical recovery, I had time to examine my choices and attitudes in life to see that I was a miserable creature in need of a Savior.  God became real to me, gave me hope and gave me the gifts of forgiveness, acceptance and faith, for which I am eternally grateful.

Healing

When I quit hiding from life and The Lord, I was healed and spared from my youthful path of accelerated self-destruction.  He had so much more in store!   In submitting to His giving and taking away,  He sustains me still and gives me a quiet joy, no matter what my circumstances.  He is the lifter of my head. Psalm 3:3 “But you, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory and the lifter of mine head.” (KJV)

Had The Lord placed you on the sidelines, through illness or infirmity?  Draw near to him, stop hiding in your weakness and accept His gifts.

If we ever speak face-to-face, don’t mind the residual twitch.  I’m not talking to you from my face but from my well-worn soul and overflowing heart.

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Filed Under: Creativity and Spirituality, Faith Tagged With: Bell's palsy, Gideon Bible, redemption, salvation, youth and beauty

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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