• Home
  • New? Start Here
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Real Mom Life

  • Purpose and Passion
    • Planners
    • Purpose and passion
    • Reinvention
    • Retirement
    • Starting a business
    • Volunteering
    • Working
    • Trying new things
    • Ageism
    • Giving back
    • Confidence
    • Encore careers
    • Encouragement
    • Gratitude
    • Happiness
    • Inspiration
    • Lifelong Learning
  • Adventure
    • Travel
    • Technology
    • Trying new things
    • Books and movies
    • Embracing change
    • Fun
    • Holidays
    • Pets
  • Relationships
    • Marriage
    • Friendships
    • Parenting
    • Painful parenting
    • Mothering
    • Grandparenting
    • Aging parents
    • Empty nest
    • Cancer caregiving
    • Child adoption
    • Homeschooling
    • Special needs kids
    • Life skills for kids
    • Activities for kids
  • Health and Beauty
    • Alternative health practices
    • Fashion
    • Hair care
    • Health insurance
    • Healthy aging
    • Healthy brain
    • Makeup
    • Medical issues
    • Mental health
    • Sexuality
    • Skin care
    • Sleep
    • Stress
    • Nutrition
    • Physical fitness
    • Self-care
  • Creativity and Spirituality
    • Faith
    • Crafts
    • Hobbies
    • Art journaling
    • Blogging
    • Journaling
    • Jewelry making
    • Writing
  • Home and Finances
    • Cleaning
    • Cooking and food
    • Declutter
    • Decor
    • DIY Home
    • Downsize
    • Gardening
    • Holidays
    • Organizing
    • Saving money
    • Simplify
  • Coffee Love
  • Rants, Raves and Reviews
  • Bucket List
  • Shop

In the Deep

August 31, 2017 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

Spread the love

My summer has been spent in the deep. How about yours?

 

Remember the story in Luke 5? The fishermen were weary from their work and they hadn’t caught much. Jesus got into one of the boats and told Simon to go out into the deep water.

When they got to the deep, Jesus said to let the fishing nets back down. When they did, they caught so much that the nets began to break. The fishermen had to call for help because the boats were so full!

What’s the point of this story? I’m not a theologian. I’m a pretty simple woman. What this says to me is that sometimes we wait, and wait, and wait – any we have to result for our waiting or our efforts. Sometimes, we have to go out a little deeper and hang in there – and then we will see some result.

Life is like that. When we’re in pain, or struggling, or outright suffering – we want to escape. We drink, or eat, or sleep too much, or do any number of other distracting things – anything to avoid sitting in the deep for a while.

When I was younger, after the loss of both of my parents in my teens, I had anxiety issues. You know what I mean? So many things made me feel anxious – new experiences, talking to new people, going to new places. Anxiety really limited my life for a while.

What did I do? I learned to sit with the anxiety rather than try to run away from it.

Anxiety wasn’t going to kill me. The more I ran away from it, the more it controlled me.

I learned to sit with it and calm myself.

A willingness to sit in the deep for a bit yielded a calmer, more focused Christine.

My time in the deep now is different from when I was younger. My relationship issues and life challenges are different from then. But they are still hard.

I can sit with them, and learn from them – or I can run away from them and avoid them.

Avoiding them only ensures a life lived at a shallow level. Choosing to not examine my discontent or disconnection in relationships means things will never change or get better.

Therapists would refer to this as learning to sit with your feelings. Feelings are funny things. We distrust them. In learning to distrust them, when they pop up (sometimes like a volcano!) our first instinct is to resist them.

Your brain said, “O my goodness. This feeling is strong. I shouldn’t be feeling this level of emotion. I must suppress this feeling.”

At first, suppressing might be easy. We tamp the feeling down and keep moving.

Feelings are like a pressure cooker. If we let the pressure build up and don’t allow some steam to escape, we will blow!

“Blowing” might mean uncomfortable feelings, or anxiety, or depression from unrelenting stress.

You can “control” your feelings for a while. Left unattended and unexpressed, they will work against you.

So what do you do?

Be willing to stay in the deep for a bit.

So what does this look like? Here’s the toughie – you have to quit judging your feelings.

It happens like this: You feel a feeling, you don’t like the feeling, you label it as bad or unacceptable, you stuff it down.

The next time that feeling returns, it’s a little stronger – kind of like a bully. You didn’t deal with it earlier, so now it’s going to take another shot at you.

As you continue to judge the feelings and divert yourself away from dealing with them, the feelings acquire power.

What happens when we sit in the deep a bit and realize that feelings aren’t going to kill us?

Peace. Relief. Self-acceptance.Calm.

How about you? Trust yourself to sit in the deep a bit. It will change you.

The gift it will give you is perspective- a gem of rare beauty.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Creativity and Spirituality, Encouragement, Faith, Purpose and Passion Tagged With: dealing with feelings, in the deep

Previous Post: « Days of Small Things
Next Post: How Estranged Mothers Can Find Acceptance and Healing »

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

FacebookInstagrammailPinterestYouTubeTwitter

Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
Read More…

Search the Blog

Want to Search For Something?

Disclosure

Real Mom Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Footer

About Christine

FacebookInstagrammailPinterestYouTubeTwitter

At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

Real Mom Life

Real Mom Life

107 N. Pierce Ave.

Wheaton, IL 60187

Copyright © 2021 Real Mom Life on the Foodie Pro Theme