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What it looks like near the end

May 23, 2012 By Christine Field

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My in-laws are in their mid-eighties.  I’ve known them longer than I knew my own parents who died when I was a teen. I call them Mom and Dad and they have lovingly filled a gaping hole my own own heart.

In recent visits, they would ask us to sit and watch their favorite videos with them. They love the Gaither Vocal Band, particularly the Homecoming series.  It’s a unique thing to watch them in their lounging chairs singing songs about Heaven with expressions of wistful anticipation.

Dad’s increasing weakness and mom’s progressive dementia caused my husband to make the difficult decision to place them in assisted living.  It was 3 weeksof crying and convincing, but they are now safely in a Sunrise community in Michigan and they like it.

Now mom is weakening. She’s had two bouts of pneumonia.  When hosiptalized in her dementia confusion, she pulls the IVs out and yells at the nurses.  Having served for decades as a nurse herself, she has become the difficult patient.

My husband called me from Michigan last night and said Mom was inconsolable.  She cries to “go home”, although she thinks that the Sunrise facility is their first apartment they had when they got married over 65 years ago.

The only way she was comforted last night was when Dad held her and sang to her.  He sang her favorite song and today the words are resonating with me as such a fitting, peace-filled end to this story.  May I share them with you here?

 

The Love of God, by Frederick Lehman, 1917

 

The love of God is greater far

Than tongue or pen can ever tell;

It goes beyond the highest star,

And reaches to the lowest hell;

The guilty pair, bowed down with care,

God gave His Son to win;

His erring child He reconciled,

And pardoned from his sin.

Refrain: Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!

How measureless and strong!

It shall forevermore endure—

The saints’ and angels’ song.

 

When hoary time shall pass away,

And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,

When men who here refuse to pray,

On rocks and hills and mountains call,

God’s love so sure, shall still endure,

All measureless and strong;

Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—

The saints’ and angels’ song.

 

Could we with ink the ocean fill,

And were the skies of parchment made,

Were every stalk on earth a quill,

And every man a scribe by trade;

To write the love of God above

Would drain the ocean dry;

Nor could the scroll contain the whole,

Though stretched from sky to sky.

 

From one erring child to another – so grateful for God’s love so sure, still enduring, all measureless and strong.

Filed Under: Aging parents, Relationships Tagged With: dementia, end-of-life, Heaven, in-laws, peace of God

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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