I see you. I see you scrolling past the matching pajama photos and the multi-generational cookie-baking posts. I see you turning off the Hallmark movies because they feel like salt in an open wound. I see you wondering if this Christmas will ever feel whole again.
Image courtesu of Pixabay
Maybe your child is physically absent this year – by their choice or by circumstances beyond your control. Maybe they’re struggling with addiction, mental illness, or decisions that keep them at a distance. Maybe there’s been an estrangement, harsh words that can’t be unsaid, or a silence that’s stretched so long you’re not sure how to break it.
Maybe they’re even sitting at your table, but the relationship feels hollow, strained, broken.
Whatever your situation, I want you to know: your grief is valid. Your sadness doesn’t mean your faith is weak. Your longing for reconciliation doesn’t make you pathetic. It makes you a mother whose love runs deeper than disappointment.
The Pain is Real, and So is the Hope
I won’t insult you with platitudes. I won’t tell you everything happens for a reason or that God won’t give you more than you can handle. (Honestly, I think He often does – that’s why we need Him so desperately.)
But I will tell you this: things are hard now, but they will not always be this hard.
People can change. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. Your child can change too – not because you force it, fix it, or manage it perfectly, but because God is in the business of transformation. It’s literally what He does best.
Reconciliation is God’s Work, Not Yours
Here’s what I’m learning in my own journey: I am not the Holy Spirit. Neither are you. Our job isn’t to convict, convince, or convert our children. Our job is to love them, pray for them, and keep our hearts soft toward the possibility of restoration.
Reconciliation is God’s specialty. He reconciled us to Himself while we were still sinners – not after we cleaned up our act, not after we proved we were worthy. While we were still a mess, He made a way.
If He can do that for us, He can do it for our kids. He can do it for our relationships.
Never Abandon Hope
I know you’re tired. I know you’ve prayed this prayer a thousand times. I know you’ve tried reaching out and been rebuffed. I know you’ve set boundaries and wondered if they’re the right ones. I know you’ve questioned your own parenting, replayed conversations, and tortured yourself with what-ifs.
But here’s what I’m asking you to do this Christmas: don’t abandon hope.
Hope doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It doesn’t mean toxic positivity or denial. Hope means believing that God is still working, even when we can’t see it. Hope means trusting that love is more powerful than hurt, that grace is bigger than mistakes, and that the story isn’t over yet.
Your child’s story isn’t finished. Your story isn’t finished. The possibility of healing and restoration remains as long as there’s breath and a God who specializes in miracles.
Seek Out Joy, Even in the Sorrow
This might sound impossible, but I’m going to encourage you to look for moments of joy this Christmas. Not fake joy. Not performance joy. Real, small, sacred moments of light.
Maybe it’s a good cup of coffee in a quiet house. Maybe it’s a friend who really gets it. Maybe it’s the way the Christmas lights look at dusk. Maybe it’s a worship song that reaches right into your broken heart and reminds you that you’re not alone.
Joy and sorrow can coexist. They do in the Christmas story itself – a baby born to save the world, and a mother who would one day watch Him die. Beauty and pain, hope and grief, all woven together.
You’re Not Alone
Whatever you’re facing this Christmas, you’re not alone. There are more of us than you think – moms who love fiercely, pray desperately, and carry heavy hearts through the holiday season.
We’re holding space for the pain. We’re believing for the miracle. We’re trusting in a God who brings dead things back to life.
This Christmas, be gentle with yourself. Feel what you feel. Hope anyway. Love anyway. Trust that the God who started the story will bring it to completion.
Things are hard now. They won’t always be this hard.
Hold on.
With love and understanding,
Christine
Thank you Christine for reminder ng me what a Mighty God we serve