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What To Do When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind

September 4, 2018 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

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I have a hard time making decisions. I’m married to someone with the same weakness. It is not a good combination, but I have been working on it because it is so important.

 

making decisions

 

Having a little trouble making a decision? This is a common challenge, especially when dealing with big decisions. You don’t want to make the wrong choice and so you tie yourself up in knots trying to make the best possible decision.

 

It turns out that the most successful people make decisions quicker than the average person.  This is an important idea to remember. It made me wonder if I could be more successful in all my pursuits if I honed this skill.

 

Consider these strategies to make good decisions and create a successful life:

 

  1. Be clear on your values. Decisions are easier to make when you know yourself. What is most important to you? If you value adventure and risk-taking over comfort, certainty, and security, you’ll make different decisions than someone that favors the opposite. Make a list of your values and place them in order.
  2. Be clear on the objective. What do you hope to accomplish with this decision? Are you looking for the most impressive date for the company picnic or a lifelong partner? Are you looking for the most interesting career or the most lucrative? What do you want to achieve with this choice?
  3. Value time. We’re great at convincing ourselves that we have plenty of time, but it’s not true. Time is constantly passing through your life. You have fewer options available to you as you approach any type of deadline. Those that wait too long have no choices at all.
  4. Think about what you would do if no one else cared. Making decisions for the purpose of impressing others rarely works out well in the end. Buy the car you need, not the car that will impress your coworkers. Just ask yourself what decision you would make if no one would have an opinion other than yourself.
  5. Get into a relaxed, positive mental state. Intense emotions and fear lead to poor decisions. The logical centers of your brain are inhibited when you’re under emotional duress. Decisions made during this time tend to alleviate the short-term discomfort you’re feeling rather than looking at the long-term implications.
  6. Go for a walk. Getting out of your normal environment can free your mind from its normal thought patterns. You also get a different perspective of your life and your challenges.
  7. Get advice from someone that knows what they’re talking about. Getting advice from an expert might clear up some of your uncertainty. You might even learn a thing or two. Consider whom you know that has made a similar decision in the past and ask for help.
  8. Let fate do the choosing. I don’t say this flippantly. But try these: Draw cards, pull a choice from a hat, or roll dice. If you truly can’t make up your mind, then there’s a good chance that one option is just as good as the other. Simply choose something and get on with your life. You can’t accomplish anything while you’re stuck.

 

The choices we make can have long-reaching consequences, so it’s important to make good choices. However, there isn’t an unlimited amount of time available to make up your mind. And sometimes, the best choice isn’t that much better than a good choice.

 

Understand yourself and your objective. Be sure to give time itself the respect it deserves. Your life is continuously getting shorter, so make a solid choice and move on!

Filed Under: Embracing change Tagged With: decision making, making good decisions

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. 1010ParkPlace

    September 4, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    These are great suggestions! When I married my first husband, I was 21, and he was older and very successful. He would drop little tidbits from time to time about a variety of things. One was about decision making. His theory was not making a decision was like making a bad decision. Since most things aren’t life and death issues, make your decision in good time with the information you have, and get on with it. Most decisions are also things you can go back and rethink. Brenda #MLSTL

  2. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    September 4, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    Hi Christine and great to have you join us at #MLSTL with some helpful tips for making decisions. I find that if I have a problem or need to decide about something, a run usually helps me clear my mind of the cobwebs and enables me to focus. I also think the old ‘pros and cons’ list is a good way to make a start. I’m not one to really procrastinate unless it is something I really don’t want to do and we all have those decisions in our lives, don’t we? Have a great week and thanks for the advice!

  3. Min@WriteoftheMiddle

    September 4, 2018 at 11:12 pm

    Christine, I saw the title of your post and couldn’t click and read soon enough. I am terrible with decision making lately – even with the most simplest of things. Thank you for the tips! 🙂

  4. Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au

    September 5, 2018 at 7:08 am

    I think we have too many choices these days and the more choices, the more difficult it is to make a decision! I try to look at what catches my attention first and not second guess myself. There’s not too many things in life that are life and death so I think it’s fine to go with my gut and hope for the best! #MLSTL 🙂

  5. Denyse Whelan

    September 6, 2018 at 2:15 am

    Good ideas and a great plan to use outdoor space before making decisions. The power of the ‘bigger world’. I know I am pretty good at decision-making but at times can have too many choices. I need to narrow that down I think!

    Denyse #MLSTL

  6. Christie Hawkes

    September 6, 2018 at 6:49 am

    Thanks for the great tips, Christine. I confess I have a hard time making choices–from small to large. Even deciding what to have for lunch! I especially like the idea that if you have two perfectly good options, you can just choose one and get on with your life. There isn’t always one “right” answer. I’m definitely going to give these tips a try. #MLSTL

  7. Donna

    September 6, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    These are very helpful and doable tips, Christine. I especially like #8 and rely on that frequently!

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

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After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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