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I Usta Homeschool: Things I would do differently

April 20, 2015 By Christine Field

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Someone used the word “usta” to describe something they had done in the past.  His inquiry was, “What did ya usta do?”

I usta homeschool four kids.  Looking back, the memories are wonderful.  The actual process was more challenging but still wonderful.

Before I had kids I had never heard of homeschooling.  It was a concept that came to us as we fell in love with parenting and looked around at educational options.  I had a hard time making the decision with my first child but for the following three the decision was effortless.  (The first two were homeschooled through high school.  The second two entered public school at middle school when my husband was diagnosed with cancer.)

old and new kids

When we started homeschooling, we did more than simply adopt homeschooling.  I became, well, probably a bit zealous.

So zealous that I probably offended some moms who could have been friends in those early days of parenting.  I was completely convinced that homeschooling was the ticket to parental success.

It was and it wasn’t.  My kids are all decent human beings and for that I am grateful to God.

The biggest blessing has been how homeschooling has changed ME.

I would sure do some things differently if I had it to do all over again.

  1. I wouldn’t let it consume my identity. Guess what?  Your kids grow up!  If you have solely invested in homeschooling them, you may wake up to not know who you are.  You are richer, fuller, deeper.  Develop those aspects of your SELF, even when you are knee-deep in homeschooling.

 

  1. I would focus more on the child than the outcome. Test scores don’t define the person.  Kids are so much richer, fuller and deeper.  Don’t lose sight of that.

 

 

  1. I would foster learning more than progress. Our homeschool was a pretty good blend of delightful learning and sitting-the-behind-in-the-chair-and-getting-the-work-done.   The reality is that kids have to learn to read and kids have to learn math.  If I had it to do over, I would do more learning games and less drill, although there is a place for each.

 

  1. I would seek a greater balance with my husband and my marriage. Because my husband was not terribly involved with homeschooling, he often felt left out of the daily flow of life.  If I had it to do over, I would do both:  Get him more involved and leave some energy in the day for just me and him.

 

  1. I would judge less and love more. My generation of homeschoolers was pretty judgmental.  We had all the answers.  If you didn’t agree with our answers, we judged you.  Now when I go to homeschool conventions, I notice that parents are more diverse and more easy-going.  Guess what?  They have great kids!  Even if they didn’t do things MY WAY.

 

 

  1. I wouldn’t denigrate parents who made other choices. I cringe when I think about how I have judged non-homeschool parents.    Let me send out an Internet apology if I ever offended you for choosing public education.

 

  1. I wouldn’t copy other families. It is one thing to admire another family.  It is quite another to glorify that family.  Remember we all are flawed humans.  Some hide it better than others.  Be yourself, give it to God and have a wonderful time.

 

When you get to the point when you say, “I usta homeschool” – you want to be able to say it with pride and no regrets.

 

 

Filed Under: Homeschooling, Mothering, Parenting, Relationships Tagged With: homeschooling advice, homeschooling mothers, what I learned from homeschooling my kids, why homeschool

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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