With the death of yet another celebrity from apparent suicide, I wonder how many everyday folks think this might be their way out of their difficulty. I saw a message lauding his decision because he “found his way out”. Yes, Robin Williams is out of his pain, but he has left behind a broad path of wounds that his act inflicted on those he left behind. Suicide is not a way out. It is a selfish exit that leaves a legacy of sadness and shame to your loved ones.
I want to speak to moms who might be considering this.
My own mother suffered from mental health issues. As a teen, she would regale me with stories of how she planned to kill herself. Not a healthy role model for a young teen.
With that backdrop, I struggled with my own demons. I sunk into a deep pit after the deaths of both parents in my teens. Climbing back out was a challenge as I worked through college and early adulthood.
Early motherhood brought a new challenge to the mind. The sheer overwhelm of caring for an infant certainly rattled me. She was adopted so there was great joy without the hormonal hammering of biological birth, yet it was difficult.
When my biological child arrived 17 months later, post-partum depression hit like a hurricane. With this onslaught, I sought medical intervention and have been blessed by effective pharmaceuticals.
These many years of mothering have been tapestry of joy and pain, contentment and despair, pride and shame.
Being a mother has expanded the bounds of my heart, challenging me to love without reason or boundary. When you love unconditionally, the heart grows and acquires wisdom.
Being a mother has rattled the sanity of my mind. I have experienced emotions I never thought I was capable of, like irrational anger and deep discouragement.
As I near the end of mothering minors, I still walk among the sane and for that I am grateful. Sheer tenacity and deep faith that I was in the mothering middle of God’s will has sustained me.
In the end, mothering has made me a better person. A vault of life experience allows me to understand others and what they are going through. I can relate to the human drama of life with depth and great empathy.
Moms, I get it.
Relax. You will be a better, fuller person for pushing through your current difficulty.
Keep pushing through.