With the redefinition of marriage proclaimed by the United States Supreme Court, I am delighted that I may soon realize a personal goal: to have five husbands.
I am an old, stick-in-the mud conservative Christian. I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. The belief is based on Biblical conviction.
However, I am adopting a new philosophy of acceptance. You do your thing. I do mine. As long as we don’t hurt anyone, anything goes.
Whether you like it or not, you must accept my view. The supreme law of the land has determined that the traditional marriage definition no longer applies. I am going to define it as my right to have as many husbands as I like.
I’d like a total of five:
1. My current husband would be husband one. I’ve had him almost 30 years so I think I’ll keep him around.
2. Husband two will be a parenting expert. His major contribution will be to manage the many conflicts and issues of parenting.
3. Husband three will be a professional chef. No one in my home really enjoys cooking so I think this will be a valuable addition.
4. Husband four will be a home decor and remodeling expert, as well as a gifted gardener. I possess none of these skills and he will be welcomed heartily.
5. Husband five will be a pointy-headed intellectual with his head in the ivory tower. He will focus predominately on politics, law and psychology. When I am in the mood for a pointless intellectual battle, his skills will be valuable.
Because it is permitted under the law, we will all live in harmony.
On further reflection, my husband may decide he is entitled to love five wives as well. Why not?
Guess we should consider remodeling the house to expand our living space.
