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The Challenge of Communication in Marriage

February 14, 2015 By Christine Field

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Do you feel challenged in your marriage communication?

 

We may actually BE from different planets.  Some days you wonder.

A friend shared recently his feeling that nothing he did seemed to make his wife happy.  He would make attempts, but they were never quite good enough.

My own husband’s words came back to me:  “I try to do what you want me to, but I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.” marriage communication

I’m trying to understand what that means.

Let’s look at some hypothetical scenarios.

 

Wife says, “I’d like you to spend more time with the kids.”

Husband’s response: He buys a new TV.

Wife’s response: “Honey, I’d still like you to spend more time with the kids.”

Husband’s response:  “There’s no pleasing you!  I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”

 

Can you relate?  Do you have these conversations?  What’s really going on here?  Is our misunderstanding of one another so severe that it does indeed seem like we’re from other planets?

 

Let’s take another example:

 

Wife says, “Honey, could you please patch that little hole in the bathroom wall?  I want to repaint soon.”

Husband’s response:  He caulks the window.

Wife’s response: “I appreciate that honey, but I need that hole patched so I can paint.”

Husband’s response:  “I try and I try and I try to make you happy and you’re never happy with me.”

 

Am I the only one?  Have you had this happen?  Got a story to tell?

Let’s see if we can figure out what’s going on here.


Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: marriage, marriage communication, married life, miscommunication is marriage, spousal communication

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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