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Is adoption right for me?

November 11, 2013 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

There are many different reasons why people can’t have biological children. As a result they may be considering adoption. It may surprise you that some individuals can biologically have a baby but choose not to. They may have a family history of serious medical problems or mental health concerns. As a result they are afraid to bring a child into the world that is at such a risk to be affected by them.

The thought of having a child in your life is one that many people are excited about. You do need to carefully think about the adoption process for you though. There are many things to consider before you will be able to decide if it is right for you. Do you enjoy being around children? If so, do you like them once they get older? Many people love the idea of having a baby in the home but keep in mind they do grow up!

There are other factors to consider as well when you want to adopt a child. What is your career? Does it reasonably allow you the time to dedicate to caring for a child? Do you have enough work experience that it is reasonable for you to maintain employment? Children require plenty of love but they also require plenty of money to provide for them properly. Make sure you take a realistic look at your finances because the burden of caring for a child can be very stressful if you aren’t financially prepared for it.

Ask yourself why you want to adopt a child. Make sure it is for all the right reasons. If you are afraid to be alone then you aren’t ready to complete this process. If you want someone to take care of you then this isn’t the route to go either. Your reasons for adopting a child need to include a passion for children and the desire to bring a new type of joy to your life. Taking care of a child is a huge responsibility, so be honest with yourself about if it is something you can do well or not.

Too many people adopt a child because they feel pressure from society to be a parent. Therefore they set out to fulfill a role that they really don’t want. They may feel like they do want children someday, but right now isn’t the best time for that. Another common scenario is for one person in a relationship to push the other to adopt a child with them. While you may want to make your partner happy, be honest with them about how you feel about being responsible for a child.

Don’t let your fears about not being perfect parents stop you from adopting a child. In reality no one out there is a perfect parent, and everyone makes mistakes. If you have plenty of love to share with a child though you will figure out ways of parenting that work for you and your child. Sometimes it just takes giving it a chance for you to see how good you are at it. If you are worried, consider taking some parenting classes before you adopt.

These types of classes are often offered locally by various community agencies. Many adoption agencies have them as well that you can ask about. If time restraints are a problem there are even online parenting classes that you can look into. The more confident you are in your abilities to take care of a child, the more you will be motivated to move forward with adopting one.

Adopting a child can be an amazing experience and one that adds so much joy to the rest of your life. It is a complete commitment though so make sure you are ready for it. Don’t adopt a child due to pressure from society or even from your spouse. You need to carefully evaluation your reasons for doing so. It isn’t fair to you or to the child you adopt if you aren’t going to dedicate yourself 100% to this commitment.

 


Filed Under: Child adoption, Relationships Tagged With: Adopt, Adoption, adoption advice, adoption boot camp, adoption information, adoption training, getting started in adoption, National Adoption Awareness Month, should you adopt

Previous Post: « Not Again, Lord! Another Yield Sign? Dealing with unexpected change
Next Post: The facts about adoption »

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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