I’m suffering from an identity crisis — again.
I regularly ask myself, “Why am I doing what I’m doing?” If I can’t come up with something that honors God and brings me some general satisfaction, I start to question things.
Being honest with myself has led me to finally admit that I was never wild about practicing law. As a young lawyer, I enjoyed being a prosecutor as my first job out of law school. My stint in private practice after that wasn’t that great, other than having a great boss and having the opportunity to adopt my first daughter.
Next were many mommy years. I was privileged to be a stay-at-home mom raising and homeschooling my four kiddos. That space also allowed me to write and begin publishing.
As the kids got older, I had the good fortune to work for a Christian non-profit for a bunch of years which was the most satisfying time of working in the law. After that, I had a slot at a wonderful law firm in my town, but I just wasn’t loving it.
I think I was meant to write. The early successes I had in writing seemed to confirm that.
I’ve come through some crazy family life years in which I couldn’t write. The stress and the sadness of things going on were all consuming. I believe the Lord put my love of writing on the shelf while He led me through some tough times.
This year was the year to test the writing waters again. I went to a speaker’s conference, the Carol Kent Speak Up Conference. I went to the Maranatha Christian Writer’s Conference, at which I met a literary agent and ultimately signed a contract to work with him on some new projects. Woot! More news on this later.
So I’ve kind of settled the overall lawyer or writer identity crisis. I am blessed.
But what about blogging? This was also my year to explore the vast and varied topic of “monetizing” my blog. That means trying to earn a few bucks from the time I spend blogging. I’m doing some Adsense ads and selling some Kindle books on my Amazon author page. But I don’t want that to become the focus of my site. When you visit Real Mom Life I don’t want you to feel like I’m always trying to sell you something.
After a few months of learning about and mulling these monetizing ideas, it came to me like a flash that my heart is all about ministry, not monetizing.
To tell the truth, I have probably given away as many books as I have sold. At homeschool conferences or church events, it warms my heart to hand a book to a struggling mom and to be able to say, “I hope this blesses you.”
So I ask you, my sweet reader, to bear with me in my current identity crisis. I’m having a great designer doing some reworking of my website. I think you’ll like it. It should be done soon.
I’m going to be true to myself and focus on ministering to your heart as a fellow mom. I hope this blesses you!
Bear with me in my current identity crisis. I’m leaning in and listening to the Lord’s call.
How about you?
Blessings and Peace,