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Do you self-sabotage?

June 17, 2016 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

Stop Self-Sabotage In Its Tracks

 

Change is hard!  If you’ve been reading here for a while, you will know that lots of changes are going on here.  Some good and welcomed.  Others surprising and challenging.

Change is hard because the familiar may seem more appealing than the prospect of change.  Snuggling down into your favorite chair with a book is lovely and comforting.  But trekking down a forest trail in search of beauty and adventure might be what your body and your soul need!

But have you ever told yourself you were going to do something – like finding that forest trail – but then turned around and made sure it wasn’t going to happen? That’s a great example of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is all too common. Self-sabotage guarantees that you maintain the status quo, whether the status quo is good or bad. You’re naturally resistant to change.

 

This sabotage is rarely intentional. We subconsciously do and say things that make success much less likely. You might accidentally fail to set your alarm cook and be late to an important interview as a result.

 

Self-sabotage can be challenging to spot, but your friends and family are an excellent resource. It’s easier to spot in others.

 

Learn more about self-sabotage and discover how you can get rid of its negative influences.

self-sabotage

 

 

Understand Self-Sabotage

 

  1. Self-sabotage is a form of control. When an outcome is uncertain, we can create certainty by failing intentionally. You can ensure the lack of a job offer by being late to your interview, rather than suffer from the lack of control that comes from waiting for that phone call after the interview.  You can guarantee you won’t sprain your ankle or get poison ivy by avoiding the forest, but think about the adventure you are missing!

 

  • Self-sabotage allows you to dictate the outcome, even though it might be negative.

 

  1. You can avoid change by sabotaging yourself. You might not like your current job, but you know everyone and how to navigate through the company. Familiarity is one form of comfort. A new job brings a lot of uncertainty.

 

  • You don’t know whether you’ll enjoy a new job or not. You don’t know whether you’ll like your boss or co-workers. You don’t know how much stress you’ll face.
  • Sabotaging yourself can keep you in your comfort zone, even if it isn’t very comfortable.

 

  1. You might feel that you deserve failure. If your self-esteem is low, you might believe that you deserve to fail.

 

Self-sabotage is common. It’s also comforting in its own way. Self-sabotage is also a great hindrance to progress and happiness. Repeated failures can ruin anyone’s attitude.

 

Defeat Self-Sabotage and Lead a New Life

 

  1. Take a look at your past failures. When you made poor choices, consider your thoughts. Were they reasonable? No one is perfect, and you’re bound to make mistakes. However, when you do something you know is wrong, take note.

 

  • Do this for every “failure” you’ve had. Pay particular attention to your past actions. If you see signs of self-sabotage, ask yourself why you did it. Do you see a pattern?

 

  1. Determine appropriate behavior. After recognizing the times you’ve sabotaged yourself, determine what you should have done. Take the time to figure out what the best course of action would have been. Do this for each instance of self-sabotage you’ve noticed.
  2. Think about how much self-sabotage has cost you in the past. You’ve missed out on a lot because of self-sabotage. Do you make less money, have fewer friends, and live a less fulfilling life because you sabotage yourself? Realize how much you’ve cost yourself, and changing will be easier.
  3. How much has your self-sabotage harmed others? How have your friends, family, and other loved ones been affected? Living a small life has an impact on everyone around you. Give yourself effective reasons to change your behavior.

Self-sabotage is a defense mechanism. Sabotaging yourself keeps you safe and in control, at the expense of making any real progress in your life. Stopping this pattern of behavior requires reflection, honesty, and a little courage. Examine your life for instances of self-sabotage, make the necessary changes to your behavior, and enjoy your resulting success!


Filed Under: Encouragement, Health and Beauty, Purpose and Passion, Self-care Tagged With: sabotage self, self-sabotage

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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