I spent years creating that happy family I dreamed about. At least, I THOUGHT it was happy. Turns out — not so much. And then it fell apart. Friends and family did not understand the pain I was going through. With the divorce came feelings of grief, despair, and fear about the future. You have to deal with your relationship ending, finding a good family lawyer, breaking the news to friends and family and so any other hard issues all in one fell swoop.
My marriage was over, but my new life was just beginning. I began to pick up the pieces, recover, and I am emerging stronger than ever.
These strategies I found can help YOU cope with the hurt of your divorce and claim a brighter tomorrow:
1. Nurture your spirit. What are your spiritual beliefs? How could those beliefs nourish you at this time in your life, when you need that nourishment the most? You always take time to eat, right? Your spiritual nourishment is as valuable as the food for your body.
- If you take time for yourself and find ways to nurture your spirit every day, everything else will fall into place. Examine your heart in light of your spiritual beliefs. Pray for guidance. Seek like-minded people that will lift you up and encourage you along your spiritual journey. Visit your local place of worship and connect with people there.
- Instead of dwelling on the challenges you face, pray about how you can pour your life into others. Serving others brings joy to your heart and provides a much-needed distraction from the complicated emotions of your divorce. Seek volunteer opportunities in your local community or place of worship.
2. Get moving. When faced with the heartbreak of divorce, you may be tempted to stay on the couch. Resist the temptation. Instead, get out and get moving. Pick a physical activity you enjoy and commit to a regular exercise routine. You’ll have more energy, self-confidence, and strength to overcome the challenging emotions you face.
- Exercise releases happy hormones and keeps you fit, healthy, and youthful. If you have trouble deciding on an activity for your workouts, consider yoga. Yoga can be a gentle and inviting way to get moving. An important part of yoga is nurturing the connection between your body and your spirit.
3. Take a vacation. Get away from all the places that remind you of the years you spent together. Spend a few hours or days in a place of natural beauty. Walking in nature through forest preserves has been incredibly healing for me. Allow the surroundings to take your mind off of your divorce. Think of as many things as possible to be grateful for, and relax in a place that lets you escape for a while.
4. Change your focus. What you focus on becomes your reality. You deserve to be happy, and you can decide to settle for nothing less than your best experience of life. Begin to take action today in the direction of your dreams.
- If you’re struggling with your self-confidence, seek positive friends who can encourage you to see the best in yourself. Focus on your strengths and how you can use them to forge ahead in creating the life you want.
Be Patient with Yourself
Allow yourself some time to heal from the pain and grief of your divorce. Healing may take some time, but it will come. Take positive steps in a new direction, but give yourself permission to feel the hurt from your divorce. Over time, you’ll notice the hurt becoming less and less as you take action toward a new direction and a bright future.