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Challenge your toxic beliefs

May 29, 2018 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

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Can a belief have the power to stop you in your tracks? You bet it can!

If you believe that you could never run a marathon, you’d never try. If you believe you can’t get a job, you’ll have trouble getting one.  If someone has told you you are hard to get along with, you might present yourself as hard to get along with.

Some toxic beliefs can permeate multiple areas of your life. These beliefs are more damaging than specific beliefs. Believing you can never learn to play the banjo doesn’t have the same negative impact as the belief that you’re too old to follow your dreams.

 

What are some of the toxic beliefs that limit your life?

 

  1. It’s too late, or I’m too old. Sometimes it is too late. You’re probably not going to start playing in the NBA if you’re 43 years old. But the number of things you can do is far greater than the number of things you can’t.

 

  • Colonel Sanders didn’t settle on a chicken recipe until he was 49 years old. Yet, you know who he is and you’ve eaten his chicken.
  • There have been a few medical students that didn’t get started until their 60’s. Avoid jumping to conclusions regarding your age. You can do a lot more than you think.
  1. Failure is bad. Failure is normal. If you’re living, you’re also failing from time to time. The trick is to fail in the right way and make good use of it. Failure is nothing more than an undesired result.

 

  • Take the opportunity to learn from your failures and adjust your approach. If one way doesn’t work, try another. If you continue to improve your method, how can you possibly fail over the long haul?
  1. The past equals the future. You have an amazing ability to change and adapt. Just because you’ve been lazy, made poor choices, been uneducated, had poor social skills, or self-destructed in the past doesn’t mean the future can’t be different. The past only affects you if you permit it. You can choose to drop the past and live in the present.
  2. People will criticize me, laugh at me, or think little of me. You’re right. They will. This isn’t an inaccurate belief, but it’s harmful to be concerned about the opinions of others. No matter what you do, there are people that won’t be impressed. And there’s always someone ready to make a negative comment. Why do you care?

 

  • You don’t have time to worry about such silliness. You’re no longer in high school, so let go of the peer pressure.
  • Please yourself and avoid worrying about anyone else’s opinion.
  1. I’m not smart, good with money, good with people, educated enough, special, or fill in the blank. No one is good at everything. You can learn to be good at whatever skill you’re lacking. Don’t know how to save money? Read a book. Not good with people? Take a class. Lacking in real estate knowledge? Find a mentor.

 

  • Successful people are often surprisingly ordinary. You don’t have to do anything spectacular to have spectacular results. You can find or create whatever you’re currently lacking.

 

A toxic belief could be holding you back from the success you deserve. These negative beliefs are difficult to recognize because you’ve been carrying them around for so long. Do a personal inventory and evaluate all your beliefs that inhibit you. How do you know they’re true? What are they costing you? Get rid of them and proceed to bring your dreams to life!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Reinvention, Trying new things Tagged With: challenging toxic beliefs, toxic beliefs

Previous Post: « How to Move On From a Bad Decision
Next Post: Making things happen! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Leslie Clingan

    June 5, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    Encouraging post. I try not to let being 60 keep me from trying reasonable new experiences. Your wise words inspire me to continue.

  2. Min@WriteoftheMiddle

    June 5, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    Very good points Christine! Reminds me of that saying “you are what you think”! It comes back to attitude and being aware of negative or toxic thoughts/beliefs and correcting them until they lessen and a more positive way of thinking becomes more of your default than the former.

  3. Patrick Weseman

    June 5, 2018 at 9:07 pm

    So beautiful. I really needed this today. Thanks for sharing it. #MLSTL

  4. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    June 5, 2018 at 10:43 pm

    I totally agree Christine and recently gave a speech about having an Ageless Attitude – not being defined by our age. I ran a marathon at 55 and never thought I would ever do something like that. I’m even working towards one this year just before my 61st birthday as well. Our mental strength plays such an important role in how we live our life. We can keep telling ourselves ‘we can’t’ or ‘we should’ or we can replace that with ‘I can’ and ‘I will’. Great post to link up at #MLSTL and it is great to have you join us.
    Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

  5. Christine Westermark

    June 6, 2018 at 10:54 am

    It is so interesting to dig into this and have a good look at how we rationalize not taking action. We can be our own worst enemies.

  6. Molly

    June 6, 2018 at 7:01 pm

    I have named my toxic internal voice Delilah … and I am working hard to silence her toxic remarks. I love your suggestions for how to reframe these lies into truth. Thank you!

    • Christine Field

      June 11, 2018 at 6:31 am

      Love this! Be quiet, Delilah!

    • shelley

      June 12, 2018 at 8:27 pm

      I’ve named mine Ronny and I try to tell him to shut up every chance I get!

  7. Christie Hawkes

    June 6, 2018 at 8:19 pm

    Well said Christine. These are all great points. I like the idea that successful people are often surprisingly ordinary and all have “failed” numerous times. I found this post on #MLSTL and am sharing on social media.

    • Christine Field

      June 11, 2018 at 6:31 am

      Ugh. So true. I can’t count my failures and mis-steps in life. They are many!

  8. Victoria

    June 8, 2018 at 8:15 am

    A very good post. So very true that we limit ourselves so much by what we think. Midlife is the perfect time to step out of the box we have put ourselves in and be the best we can be.

    • Christine Field

      June 11, 2018 at 6:30 am

      It’s a time for us to write our own “scripts” for the rest of our lives!

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

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After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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