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Another Fatherless Father’s Day

June 18, 2016 By Christine Field

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My dad died when I was 18. Prior to that, we had a complicated and confusing relationship.

Every year since then, these honoring holidays are troublesome for me. Once I had kids, they became about celebrating my husband for Father’s Day, or me for Mother’s Day. Some of the sting was removed.

But once in a while, that longing for a father in my own life would surface.

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I had a fabulous father-in-law for many years. He was quiet and strong and I loved him well. As much as he blessed me, he was not my own father.

So I struggled with this a lot. For most of my adulthood, I have been both fatherless and motherless.

Much like a boat without it’s bearings. No anchor to hold me, it seems. Drifting and seeking were my lot.

Until I really encountered the Lord.

I don’t have one of those singular salvation stories. I used to be jealous when I would hear people talk about “being saved” at summer camp, or “coming forward” at a crusade.

Not so simple for me. It was a slow surrender, questioning and bucking up against the goads all the way.

I remember clearly the day when it all clicked. I had been attending a good church for a while and soaking up teachings about the lavishness of the love and grace of God. Pastor Lou Diaz, now of http://efcchico.org preached this particular Sunday about how God was a father to the fatherless. The passage was Psalm 68:5 which describes God as “Afather to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”

It was like a jolt to my brain. All I had missed and felt deprived of was there for me to grab onto. All I needed and longed for was available to lavish on me without boundary or limit. From that time on, I never felt that huge empty hole of want in my soul.

Of course, I have thought of how cool it would be to have a father to bounce ideas off of, to tell me he was proud of me, and to love me unconditionally. But I only know the reality of those things from movies and television. I never really had them up close and personal in my life.

But yet I had them all along.

No wanting, no wondering, no longing, no hungering.

It’s all there for us to take and bask in.
It’s there for you and it’s there for me.

So today, are you feeling some father longing on this Father’s Day? Enjoy the time with your family, honor the father of your children, but don’t forget that there is a Father available to each of us who is waiting patiently for us to come to Him – to bring our sorrows as well as our joys. He welcomes us no matter how we may have dismissed Him in the past. He is always there patiently waiting to show us His love and care. His love for us is not complicated or confusing. It’s pure and holy. And it’s there for you and for me.

Will you welcome it today?

Filed Under: Adventure, Holidays, Holidays, Home and finances Tagged With: Father's Day, fatherless on father's day

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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