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8 Lies We Tell Ourselves

April 13, 2016 By Christine Field

This post may contain affiliate links.

Lying to others is bad enough. Lying to yourself is the worst of all lies. The lies you tell yourself have an insidious purpose. You’re either trying to absolve yourself of responsibility or justifying inaction. The damage you do by lying to yourself is tremendous.

 

Avoid these lies and take control of your life:

8 lies we tell ourselves

  1. There will be time in the future to do it. Do you want to do it or not? Often, we enjoy the idea of doing something, but lack the interest or determination to put it in time, work, or sacrifice to make it happen. Playing the guitar might sound like fun to you, but the idea of putting in hours of work to play at a mediocre level isn’t appealing.   Saying you want to be a writer but never finding time to write may be telling you that you simply don’t have the determination required.

 

  • If you really want to do it, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find 1,000 reasons to put it off and procrastinate.  Start to be honest with yourself about what you really want.
  • Realize that you choose how you spend your time.
  1. I can change another person. Think about how difficult it is to change yourself. Any change is extremely challenging, even when you’re highly motivated. Odds are that the person you want to change is less than enthusiastic. You have a losing battle on your hands.

 

  • If it’s vital that the other person change themselves, think long and hard about initiating or maintaining a relationship with them.  The only person you can change is yourself.
  1. I’m not like anyone else / there’s something wrong with me. Everyone believes they’re different from others. You are certainly unique, but you’re remarkably similar to the average person. You’re not deficient or flawed.  Countless others have faced the situations or challenges you are facing.

 

  • This type of thinking serves as an excuse to play the victim and remain small.
  1. It will get better or go away if I just ignore it. Things tend to get worse if ignored. Unless you have a magical fairy taking care of business for you, you’ll have to deal with the challenges of life directly. Otherwise, you’ll find your challenges grow and multiply.
  • Some things you ignore can be deadly, such as a health issue.  Problems never just go away.  They will find a way to remind you they are still there.
  1. I’m too young / I’m too old. It’s true that you won’t be a CEO at 3-years of age or start medical school at 106. However, age is much less limiting than you believe. The young and old have accomplished incredible things. You can too.
  • Think of all the novels written or paintings painted by people who were thought to be “over the hill.”  Keep in mind that over the hill lies a new horizon.
  1. I don’t have any other choice. You have more choices than you could possibly realize. Your habitual actions and thoughts are limiting. Open your mind to all the possibilities. There are always other choices. Brainstorm with a creative friend and investigate your other options.
  • You are never really stuck.  Counting the cost to make a different choice may be scary, but you do indeed have a choice.
  1. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. Like most of us, you’re probably far too inhibited. You’re not a teenager anymore. It’s time to let go of the fear of others’ opinions.

 

  • An exciting life is boldly lived. When you’re bold, you’re going to receive some negative feedback.  You’ll be criticized no matter what you do, so do what’s best for you.
  • Remember that 99% of the time, no one really cares. Everyone is too absorbed with their own issues.
  1. It’s too late. This is similar to “I’m too old.” Starting a business might have been more convenient before you got married and had children, but it’s still a possibility. The idea that it’s too late is just another excuse to justify staying where you are, comfortable in your own misery.

 

By lying, you take the responsibility off of your shoulders and redistribute it. You lie to yourself in order to protect yourself from possible failure. But lying to yourself ensures that you’ll stay stuck. Start being honest with yourself and face life head-on. You’ll be glad you did!

 

 

 


Filed Under: Adventure, Embracing change, Trying new things Tagged With: change, lying to ourselves, self help, telling the truth

Previous Post: « Feel like a Stuck Mama?
Next Post: Top 6 Reasons Why You Haven’t Found Your Passion »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Laura Longville

    May 2, 2016 at 9:41 am

    Great bullet points of ways I can lie to myself. These are good questions to be asking myself if I am doing any of these. Thanks for sharing

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Hi, I’m Christine

Have you been a wholehearted mother, but time, toddlers and teenagers have moved on? If you are wondering what comes next for you, you’ll feel right at home here.

Or, are you a mom for whom family life has been non-Pinworthy and parenting has been downright painful? I hear ya. There are many of us around.

Are you looking for a life full of exploration and adventure after the nest empties, but maybe you have no idea how to go about doing that? Stick around! We’ll explore adventures together to help you gain more clarity for your own path.

After a couple decades of writing books and articles about parenting, homeschooling and adoption, speaking to homeschoolers and other parent groups, and reaching out to the mom in the trenches who was trying to make the best of it - my kids grew up. Some grew up and grew away. I was determined to find a way out of the pain, emptiness and lack of direction.

For many of us, the journey starts with something we moms are not accustomed to. After years of caring for and serving others, sometimes we forget the beauty and wonder of US. We need to spend some time getting to know the parts of ourselves that have lain dormant, and take the time to explore interests and passions that we set aside.

I’d like to invite you to get the “What’s Next for Mom” workbook and jump into this growing tribe of Moms who are emptying the nest and filling the life! Let’s reignite your Mojo after Mothering!
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About Christine

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At Real Mom Life, my passion is to provide resources and reassurances for moms facing the surprising challenges of family life. In my writing and speaking, I explore solutions to unexpected issues in adoption, homeschooling, special needs, and more while encouraging moms to extract the maximum joy out of each day. Read More…

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