8 Lies We Tell Ourselves

Lying to others is bad enough. Lying to yourself is the worst of all lies. The lies you tell yourself have an insidious purpose. You’re either trying to absolve yourself of responsibility or justifying inaction. The damage you do by lying to yourself is tremendous.

 

Avoid these lies and take control of your life:

1. There will be time in the future to do it. Do you want to do it or not? Often, we enjoy the idea of doing something, but lack the interest or determination to put it in time, work, or sacrifice to make it happen. Playing the guitar might sound like fun to you, but the idea of putting in hours of work to play at a mediocre level isn’t appealing.   Saying you want to be a writer but never finding time to write may be telling you that you simply don’t have the determination required.

 

• If you really want to do it, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find 1,000 reasons to put it off and procrastinate.  Start to be honest with yourself about what you really want.
• Realize that you choose how you spend your time.

2. I can change another person. Think about how difficult it is to change yourself. Any change is extremely challenging, even when you’re highly motivated. Odds are that the person you want to change is less than enthusiastic. You have a losing battle on your hands.

 

• If it’s vital that the other person change themselves, think long and hard about initiating or maintaining a relationship with them.  The only person you can change is yourself.

3. I’m not like anyone else / there’s something wrong with me. Everyone believes they’re different from others. You are certainly unique, but you’re remarkably similar to the average person. You’re not deficient or flawed.  Countless others have faced the situations or challenges you are facing.

 

• This type of thinking serves as an excuse to play the victim and remain small.

4. It will get better or go away if I just ignore it. Things tend to get worse if ignored. Unless you have a magical fairy taking care of business for you, you’ll have to deal with the challenges of life directly. Otherwise, you’ll find your challenges grow and multiply.

• Some things you ignore can be deadly, such as a health issue.  Problems never just go away.  They will find a way to remind you they are still there.

4. I’m too young / I’m too old. It’s true that you won’t be a CEO at 3-years of age or start medical school at 106. However, age is much less limiting than you believe. The young and old have accomplished incredible things. You can too.

• Think of all the novels written or paintings painted by people who were thought to be “over the hill.”  Keep in mind that over the hill lies a new horizon.

4. I don’t have any other choice. You have more choices than you could possibly realize. Your habitual actions and thoughts are limiting. Open your mind to all the possibilities. There are always other choices. Brainstorm with a creative friend and investigate your other options.

• You are never really stuck.  Counting the cost to make a different choice may be scary, but you do indeed have a choice.

4. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. Like most of us, you’re probably far too inhibited. You’re not a teenager anymore. It’s time to let go of the fear of others’ opinions.

 

• An exciting life is boldly lived. When you’re bold, you’re going to receive some negative feedback.  You’ll be criticized no matter what you do, so do what’s best for you.
• Remember that 99% of the time, no one really cares. Everyone is too absorbed with their own issues.

8. It’s too late. This is similar to “I’m too old.” Starting a business might have been more convenient before you got married and had children, but it’s still a possibility. The idea that it’s too late is just another excuse to justify staying where you are, comfortable in your own misery.

 

By lying, you take the responsibility off of your shoulders and redistribute it. You lie to yourself in order to protect yourself from possible failure. But lying to yourself ensures that you’ll stay stuck. Start being honest with yourself and face life head-on. You’ll be glad you did!