I’m good in a crisis. I can manage it when it’s happening quite well. Maybe it’s my training as a lawyer, but I can keep my head in a crisis. Later on, I may fall apart, but in the moment I am calm as a cucumber.
Everyone has their own natural response to stress. Some of us are easily overwhelmed while others seem to become more focused. While scientists have found that your response to stress is partly innate, much of it is learned.
In other words, even if you fall freak out in a time of crisis, you can become more calmer and more effective with practice and awareness.
Use these key ideas to become the calmest, coolest, and most collected person you know:
1. Identify the problem. What exactly is wrong? It might be obvious, but sometimes it’s not. Before you get yourself all worked up, identify the challenge. You might find there really isn’t an issue. Sometimes, we’re good at being dramatic when no drama is necessary.
While I love my imagination, sometimes it is my own worst enemy! I can conjure up the most awful things in my imagination, and many times they are for naught. Before you get yourself in a real lather, think it through.
2. Determine if there’s anything you can do. Now that you know the challenge you’re facing, seek a solution. Ask yourself if there’s anything you can do. Is it your burden to do something? Of are you merely thinking you hold responsibility for something that you don’t. Understand that your thoughts don’t have the power to change anything other than your own behavior.
3. What do you want? What is the new circumstance you want to experience? It’s one thing to know you have an issue, it’s another to know the outcome you desire. You can’t create a solution if you’re not clear on what you’re trying to accomplish.
4. Avoid worry. Rather than focusing on the doom and gloom that may or may not happen, give your attention to solutions. What can you do to create the outcome you desire? While your mind is generating solutions, it can’t be worried. You can save yourself a lot of negative emotion by keeping your attention on finding a way out.
5. Stay present. Avoid projecting into the future and imagining all the horrible outcomes that may never come to pass. This is how we create worry and anxiety. If you find your mind wandering to negative places, bring yourself back to the present. Look, hear, smell, and feel your immediate surroundings. Describe them to yourself.
6. Breathe. Relaxed, easy breathing leads to a relaxed, easy attitude. The solution to many negative emotions lies in the breath.
7. Relax your body. Stress releases chemicals that cause your muscles to tense. You can counteract this phenomenon by relaxing. Relax your shoulders and the other muscles of your body. Try to be loose like a noodle. Learn what a relaxed body and mind feel like. It will be easier to recognize when you’re experiencing stress.
8. Stay busy. An idle mind is much more challenging to control than one that is focused on a task. Keep working on your solution. If there’s nothing more you can do, avoid just sitting around and worrying. Find an activity to keep your mind occupied.
9. Be grateful. Studies have shown that feeling gratitude lowers cortisol levels by over 20%. Before you work yourself into a frenzy, list the things that make you feel grateful. Notice how much better you feel.
10. Relabel your emotions. You’re not worried and stressed, you’re cautious and stimulated. It sounds like a trivial difference, but it makes a big difference.
Even if you’re the most anxious person you know, you can learn to keep your head in a crisis. Your reaction to stressful situations is mostly learned. You can learn to think and behave in a new way.
It’s been said that life is just one crisis after another. It might not be quite that bad, but life is full of challenges. You can learn to deal with those challenges more comfortably and effectively.
This is great advice Christine. I don’t fall apart. I hold it all in and stuff everything down inside me, presenting a picture of cool as a cucumber. Not so much. I’ll be sharing this on FB and Twitter for #MLSTL.
https://meinthemiddlewrites.com/2018/09/28/me-in-the-middle-of-the-world-of-walking-part-2/
Great tips. One thing I always do is try to break everything down into the smallest part possible. It helps me to start to solve the problem. #MLSTL
Hi, Christine – These are excellent tips. I especially like #9. It is amazing how sincere gratitude can change our perspective on so many things!
#MLSTL
It sure does us good if we can keep our head in a crisis. I notice I was better at it in my professional career in education. But not always as good with close family. However, in my recent ‘crisis’ called ‘getting cancer’ I have had a range of emotions but all of them have pointed to me having good understanding of what I have to do and doing that.
Denyse. #MLSTL
Thanks Christine, life is certainly full of challenges and your points are all valid ways of coping. I think relaxing and trying to reduce your stress levels is a great idea. I have regular massages and they help a great deal with stress levels, but I must say since retiring I’m not nearly as stressed anymore! #mlstl
It’s definitely a matter of changing the way I look at the situation and looking for solutions rather than drowning in the problem Christine. If I can’t see a way out then it all starts to weigh on me – I’m definitely able to look at the bigger picture these days and to recognized when I’m worrying needlessly – shame it took me 50+ years to figure it out! #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM 🙂
It depends on the crisis as to how I react. Sometimes I am good but there are times this is not the case. Sometimes it will depend on who else is involved and if they can cope or not.