Christine Field

Real Mom Life

Several years ago, I found myself wrangling six kids in the grocery store. Two were Caucasian, two were Korean and two foster kids were African American. A woman came up to me as I tried to keep them from destroying shelves and rolling large fruits down the aisles, and asked me, “Are you the real mom?”

You betcha! With four core kids remaining, it remains a real mom’s life. From infertility to a full house, from joy to abject pain, from good health to cancer, from living at the corner of puberty and menopause, from high expectations to dashed hopes and dreams.

Today, with all our problems and imperfections, we still love each other deeply and completely.

Is real mom life hard for you? I have been there – crying by the side of the bed asking God – “Why aren’t things the way I thought they would be?”

But I also know God’s mercies are new every morning. They are free for my spouse, my children and me. His mercy allows me to see that things are exactly the way I need them to be to grow more, trust more, love more, and live more.

Are you looking for a little mercy and grace in your life? Would you like to live with the lightness of the peace that can fill your life?

It can come through real mom’s life where the mundane can become sacred, where disappointments can be blessings and where God’s love and mercy covers us no matter how much of a mess we think we are.

Do you live a real mom life? Do you feel that your heart is so full of love it may burst ….. your headache is pounding and your head may explode …. you don’t remember the original color of your kitchen floor ….. Mother’s Day becomes one of your favorite days …. a little hand clutching dandelions is more precious than the most exquisite flower arrangement ….you no longer gag when you have to clean up messes of gargantuan quantities of bodily fluids ….you can read the same story book 323 times over the course of time …. going grocery shopping alone with your spouse counts as a date ….your child’s behavior makes you soar with pride … your child’s behavior makes you shrink with embarrassment…. when you know the meaning of true love …. when you experience greater pain than you could have ever imagined.

I am grateful. I am blessed. I am also sometimes confused and disillusioned.

Stick around. Feel less alone.

Life Skills List

May 18, 2013 — 2 Comments

Age-Appropriate Chores (Skills to Learn)

What can a child do?

The Age 2-3 Child can be introduced to these tasks:

Begin to dress self
Help make bed – at least pull covers up
Pick up toys
Hang clothing – like jammies – on hooks
Carry laundry to and from laundry area
Help fold towels
Empty light trash cans
Dust!
Carry plate to sink after meals
Put silverware in dishwasher
Help feed animals
Help wipe up spills
Dry unbreakable dishes
Sweep
Bring in newspaper
Mop a small area
Pour from a small pitcher
Pull weeds
Fetch diapers
Help pick up living room

The Age 4-5 should begin to have experience with these tasks:

Dress self
Make own bed
Clear dishes from table
Set table
Retrieve the mail
Dust!
Water plants
Help in kitchen – stirring, ripping lettuce, drying dishes
Help carry and put away groceries
Wash yard toys when needed
Help rake the yard
Help wash car and clean interior
Sweep patio
Wash floors, low walls with sponge
Put away own clothes – put dirty clothes in hamper
Sort clean clothes by family member
Sort dirty clothes by color
hang towels after bath
Help load dishwasher

The Age 6-12 child can be expected to:

Make bed
Take care of pets – clean cages and feed them
Cook simple foods – use simple recipes
Make school lunches
Help with yard work
Help wash car
Wash, hang and fold laundry
Vacuum, sweep and mop
Straighten up house
Wash, dry and put away dishes
Clean bathroom completely
Rake leaves, shovel snow
Weed and water garden
Use washer and dryer
Take out trash
Strip and change beds
Iron
Polish shoes

The child Age 13 and up is becoming proficient at these:

Any of the above, plus
Change light bulbs
Replace a vacuum cleaner bag
Wash inside and outside windows
Clean out a refrigerator
Clean stove and oven
Prepare a meal
Make grocery lists
Shop for groceries
Cook meals
Do all laundry functions
Iron clothes
Do clothes mending, repairs
Mow the lawn
Trim yard
Wash and polish car
Maintain a bicycle – fill tires with air, oil squeaks
Help paint and caulk

www.realmomlife.com

In Uncategorized

A Motherless Mother on Mother’s Day: On finding my mothering mojo

May 5, 2013 — 1 Comment

I never thought I would be a mother. I watched my own troubled mother struggle through her life. She died when I was 19. My dad had died the year before.

Hers was not an easy life. She struggled with depression and numerous health issues. As the youngest of eight kids, I saw her fatigue and life disappointment in clear focus. Her regular suicide threats collided with my adolescent angst. It was not pretty or normal.

I did not want what she had. My generation of liberated women was meant for greater things.

And so we trained for careers and a bigger life. Children would only serve to encumber.

At 30, my biological clock ticked louder. What would I do with these elemental urges?

Finally in a good marriage, I declared to the universe, “Bring it on!” only to experience the ultimate irony of infertility.
And so we adopted. With the pressure off we conceived quickly, then adopted twice more.

With a home filled to the brim with surprises, how does a motherless mother learn to mother?

I read books. I went to MOPS groups. I studied other mothers in church. I begged other mothers at the park to engage in adult conversation with me about parenting.

Ultimately, my model and my mentor was the Lord, tenderly drawing me to Himself, filling my emptiness, enlightening my ignorance, finding me in my lost-ness.

With constant prayer, trial and error – mostly error – I found my Mothering Mojo. It suited me to love and nurture. Through the exhaustion, my character was shaped and my heart was enlarged. By learning to give what I had missed, I learned to love.

And so on Mother’s Day, I want to express my thanks and thanksgiving to my children. Yes, I’ve changed the diapers and cleaned up the messes, but the unexpected surprise and blessing of my life has been the privilege of raising you. I have done NOTHING for you. You all have captivated my mind and my heart and allowed me to experience such great joy – joy that I nearly missed.

From my heart to yours, a THANK YOU to Clare, Caitlin, Grace, Daniel and g-baby Jesse.
Love,
Mom